Sunday, February 20, 2005

my mom jus went out of the room to cook an early dinner for me n herself tonite. we are both going to IMM giant to do some grocery shopping later cos she saw that the toilet paper is cheaper there. grinz.. but what provoke me to blog again is her remark of cooking a very filling meal (even if it's onli instant noodle) so that i will b fed n fat.. *groan.. all the more reason now for me to run more... and this spurs me to blog what i resolved to write some time ago when i was reflecting on what i like to do.

i like to run. this is one thing that i can do without feeling guilty or any sense of negation. i like to read, but at times there's nothing nice to read, or nothing that can catch my attention, n other times, words are jus too heavy for me. running is different. it can take a load off me (not jus the physical fats, but also the emotions n intellectual stress). n tho stimes i may b tired at the end of it. there's satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment. so i'm looking forward to run more, n also to run in the marathon, hoping to make it to the full marathon by the end of this year. :)
i hv 2 success stories to share:

one, my teeth are glaring white! *grinz.. hehe.. that is what my neighbouring postgrad told me one day. she remarked that my teeth are quite white lah, she din use the word 'glaring'.. hehee.. ;p n my visit to the dentist last Fri was a good one too. less plague, thanks to daily flossing n brushing my teeth after eating my breakfast. it was a hard habit to cultivate, esp having to swallow down my bfast early in the morning when i'm barely awake. usu i'm more awake after brushing my teeth n washing my face. but it all pays off.. better looking teeth.. *grinz.. hehe..

but got ulcers at my gum now. my dentist was quite shocked by it. think i brushed too hard. then the lady dentist doctor there took a look n said it might b host-immune defense thinggy.. which sounds scary, but i guess it's jus out of heatiness.. i hadnt drunk much herbal or cooling stuff lately. so now, i cannot brush those two affected areas, n hv to apply some anti-bacterial gel on them to protect any germs from collecting at the site of injury. but i'm still eating chocolate, cookies n crunchy stuff.. hehehee.. cant seem to keep off them.. :P

second success story: my lil housewarming at my new place. well, before u all start to complain how come u all are not invited, it was a small gathering only. n it had another agenda of bidding farewell to another fren, who i will not get to see for the next 6 mths or so.. (phew... opps.. i mean, *sobs.. haha..).. n i dun like big crowd, not my taste of having a meaningful party. n not all my groups of frens like know one another n kinda awkward to bring everyone tgether. then i will get so distracted n tried in getting ppl to make sure they're at ease n enjoying themselves.. hee.. agreeably, i'm still quite off the mark from the standard of Mrs Dalloway. this character ran thru my head as i was thinking of the number of housewarming parties i might need to plan if i intend to get all my frens to see my new place.. *grinz..

but i will wait a while before i plan another housewarming.. wanna rest n settle in first. hvnt really felt settled in this new place yet, hvnt been able to locate everything in the kitchen cos momie did all the unpacking in that area. but i like this place.. still need a lot of stuff here n there.. but oredi this is starting to feel like home. :)

momie is flying home this Fri...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

okies, done with fish tank for today. found out that when the fishies died, the pH went up to as high as 8.76, which is not very good for the neon tetras since they prefer an acidic environment. so i had to add ard 10ml 6M HCl, which is quite a lot, but this only lowers down the pH to 6.47, which is good enough. haiz.. n this process repeats every day. double haiz..

ever since we bought the fish aquarium n plants, i hv been put into sole responsibility over them. to feed, wash n clean them.. these roles seem to be incorporated into my job portfolio, n somehow i feel uneasy or somewhat guilty if anything happens to them. not my fault, i understand that cos none of us are expert at keeping fish n plants here, but somehow i feel that my boss seem to want me to take great care that none shd perish... sadly, that's not the case. the little fishies are still adamant about death.. that's nature's course, what m i to do bout it? prolong their lives? sure, give me the money then i will go get the water supplements that they may need. haiz..

talking bout work, my postgrad is not here yet. he's sposed to teach me FPLC this morning since i hav 6 hours to burn while waiting for my bact to express the protein. i cant blame anyone that i'm in this fix. i had to go church yest n so when my bact din grow to the expected population density to express the protein, i couldnt stay back to wait for them to grow n multiply in numbers. i had to go to church. n i had to go home to watch Infernal Affairs 3. i know this is stupid, but it's not often that they show it on TV, n if i do come back to work after church, then what.. i would still hv to lower the temp to slow down the growth process of the bact so that it will not get overpopulated, starved then died.. n i will still hv to wait.. so my postgrad had this brilliant idea.. lower the temp to a greater extent, come back the next morning, n induce the bact for protein expression for 6 hrs. n i asked him, what m i sposed to do during the 6 hrs??? n he said that a lot of things could be done. like??? then he said he could teach me FPLC since he would be coming back this morning...

but here i m typing all this here, while waiting.. n my physically tired mind refuses to absorb any words, n it refuses to shut down either... sheesh..

n thinking about work, should i still continue working here? my contract ends this August. granted that i m learning a lot of techniques that i hv not done before. granted also that all these are impt n useful in my career. granted also that i'm anticipating to hav a paper published which my postgrad said would b inevitable because the protein we're working on are new n no one else hav much data on their structures. n granted also that my boss is nice n he has not scolded me, not yet... but still, all these i can get from elsewhere too. i'm looking at my dream place, biopolis, which i would love to be. where i hv more frens. n there being research institutes, surely their output of published journal is higher. n mb, jus mb, i dun hav to come back on weekends.

now, why getting a paper published is so impt to me.. well, for one, it has been a parcel of my dream to see my name in print in a journal. last time, before i truly came to know God, i once thot that for the world to remember me, this would be the way. so that years later, someone would pick up n read my journal. of cos, there are other ways of leaving a legacy for ppl to remember u. some might even think it unnecessary. what for? anyway, that's one reason.. n secondly, it will help a lot when i apply to study in Japan, not only to get me into their uni, but also hopefully some form of sponsorship or scholarship.

my dialoging with my insurance frens hav shown me facts n figures that it is gonna b financially tough for me to pursue my studies in Japan because I will need to save a lot, n it being such a short term thinggy, would be hard for me to invest or buy any form of insurance that would help me to increase my savings. i might still go into investment, but looking at the risks, at times it scares me. well, it's a hard slap on the face that if i dun spend wisely now, i might as well forget bout this whole thing. however, there's a reassuring faith too, that says God will provide. somehow, not sure how, i dun hv to be too troubled, too worried bout this whole financial issue. somehow, God will provide. this does not mean i can slack n not save. no, this simply means that i dun hv to be too worried. :)

my postgrad is still not here.. what time is he coming? haiz... i might as well do some jap then. or go blog surfing.. grinz.. it's rather interesting to read blogs at times, tho i mus b careful not to laugh too loudly or the nextdoor Thai postgrad might think i've gone nuts.. :P
i'm here again. now i m making it a habit to blog at work, esp when no one else is here. it's Sunday!!! n here i m... *sobz...

muscle aches.. mus b cos i din stretch after i ran last Fri.. two small fish died over the night.. now i'm the the process of changing the fish tank water, n oso lowering the pH to ard 6-7.. the cute doggie has gone home last nite... yesh, i'm in a whiney mood this morning.. haiz...

nvm, shall return to reading about Derrida... who is he? i hv jus about the same qstn myself. :)

Friday, February 11, 2005

today's running was a real flop. wanted to cap the run at 30mins cos that was the timing last time, n wanted to make it up the killer slope without stopping. n since i started the run at SBS, it would end at the top too. so i was running, racing against all odds to make it to the finishing peak in time. alas, my bad sense of direction made a fool of me again, or mb i shd say the thought of being in the wrong direction. i thot i was lost, went on the wrong track, when i was correct all the while.. haizz... so b4 i hit the slope, i was oredi walking, sulking that i got my route all messed up. then sulking even more when i realised that i was right all the while. dang..

anyway, shall attempt that again next week. hee..

this evening watched a very touching chinese show on TV. the one acted by Sammi Cheng entitled 'My left eye saw ghost'. i caught it first time at JB, in canto version. i was so excited back then, cos i love her show, n it was really funny. but what's the winning point for this movie is the twist at the end, n it is mightily touching. i teared the first time round, n watching it today again has the same effect. i'm amazed. either i'm a super sensitive crybaby, or the show is really touching.. i'd rather believe in the latter.. *smile..
*bored... in labbie today with nothing much ado. haiz.. why m i back at work leh? esp when my boss is not ard. but at times, it is precisely cos my boss is not ard, then i shd do work, n not do work onli when he's ard. it's what we do in secret that gets the most in terms of reward or appreciation, n this need not come from the person intended or anyone at all. :)

oh, i din mention that my new home has become a five-star pet hotel. *grinz.. my bro's fren left his doggie (yesh, it's the cute shi tsu ZaiZai) over for a week, n FK left her hammies Basil n Sage (oh, they send u their love n they're very happy, well fed n clean with new shavings placed in yesterday).. plus my sis-in-law's two terapins.. but those are permanent tenants.. hee.. so yea, a pet hotel indeed. so here's the announcement to all who would wanna pop their pets at my house, u guys are very much welcomed to, with a high price tag no less.. 5-star hotel wor.. ;p

going to run later; brought my shorts here liaoz.. gonna feel kinda funny if my postgrad sees me in shorts.. o well.. i need the run, n i dun feel like running at CCK.. n well, there's nth much ado here at work anyway.. might run at 5pm, n call it a day when i get back.. hehe.. yesh, going to conquer NTU.. muahaha.. my first attempt was not very good cos i was flat when running uphill towards SBS (thanks Sin for the introductory run @ NTU, n u need to be more convincing that the slope is really a killer.. *Lol..). yesh, now i shall not undermine the slope.. i need to run all the way up.. up, up n away.. yesh, i'm mad.. mad n all awry with words at the moment.. haiz... siennn!!!

okie okie.. shall stop sighing, complaining n what-not.. happy day everyone!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

just watched finish the 'Whisper of the Heart' for the 3rd or 4th time. i cldnt recall buying it last time, which i did at the Bugis Village. one good thing bout shifting is that u may jus dig out hidden treasures. hehh..

once again i applaud the animation for its purity n simplicity. it tugs at my heart so. leaves me with a sigh everytime i watch it. n this time round it was in canto too. i cant explain why, but cantonese is more native to my ears. i can watch a canto drama series by jus listening to it, but i cant do that when it is dubbed in mandarin. true, the animation may hv lost its native tone in jap, but hearing it in canto is sheer joy to me too. so *sigh*... love this animation by Ghibli Studio; they hv other reputable works too: the all too famous 'Totoro', n 'the graves of the fireflies'... oso 'Princess Mononoke'... if not mistaken, 'Spirited Away' is from the same studio cos the characters look quite akin.

this animation reminded me of how much i m still lacking. i envy ppl who hv extensive knowledge in what they like, in their interest. take the guy for example, he likes to play violin, he excels in it, n not onli that he takes to making them n wants to be good in making them. even the old uncle who's keen on antiques has quite remarkable knowledge in them, even in the stones.

okie, shifting to real life, my visit to the Centre of the Arts at HV (thanks to Sin for the tip off n direction on where it is) demonstrated what good use extensive knowledge plus passion is all about. the uncle there, who i presume to be Mr Teo Eng Seng, knows so much, not only about his own artwork, but others as well. it was both entertaining n enriching to have him to show me n Fongky ard the art exhibition. i enjoyed it very much, n i see why it is so impt to hv someone to tell u bout the art pieces, esp someone as ignorant as me. i was a little embarrassed that i din know a lot of things, esp of the more famous artists. hehh.. i guess i need to read more n get more exposure to art..

let's see, my first indulgence in art came from my uncle n aunt. both being very artistic ppl: they draw, make ceramic or pottery, take photos, play organ or keyboard, n now they possess a first class hons in dancing. *grinz.. they're such exciting ppl with a great many interesting hobbies. my aunt was an art teacher, n the last i rmbr she challenged herself to do chinese calligraphy. i'm not sure if she still do them now cos they're both in Australia (where else do u think they could get a cert recognition for dancing?!).

sadly, i dun think this artistic talent runs in the family. i cant play the organ tho my uncle tried to teach me n my brothers when we were young. my guitar is going nowhere, still strumming lousily. n drawing wise.. i wish i can sketch or shade well. i like black n white, keeps things simple. even then in between the two extremes, there are so many shades of gray. things are not as simple as they seem.

sigh.. mb taking an afternoon nap is not such a good idea.. cant sleep well at night in my new place oredi, this is jus making matters even worse..

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

today is a lazy day.

yesh, it finally rubbed off me that it's time to start blogging again. hvnt done so for a while, was telling myself to go on a blog holiday, jus like the term they use in insurance when u go on premium holiday. well, nth of much festivity for CNY tis year. usu my family does it quietly, n being in Spore, we dun go ard to other ppl's house, not that there are many to go to. usu my frens here are foreigners, so nobody's house to do some visiting. but usu i enjoy the reunion dinner on CNY eve. last time my mom would make a great fuss bout the meal, n it would b complete with steamed fish, a chicken dish.. veg.. etc.. but this year, she was tired from shifting n a lot of unpacking that still needs to b done, so what did we hv for dinner? well, it was MacD cos dining out was a no-no, since the restaurant was fully booked n we din like the idea of queueing up. sighz.. MacD... :(

tonite is not gonna b much diff. Mom did cook, some fried rice, n now my brother n his wife hv gone out to tapao hot n spicy soup from the thai restaurant (tt we wanted to dine in last nite). but i snacked a lot today. then i'm gonna get a bad case of sore-throat unless i balance it up with some cooling herbal drinks. napped in the afternoon too.. haiz.. lazy lazy day.. shall do some blog reading n catching up tonite.. hehh.. when i dun blog, i dun read everyone's blog too.. hehh..

well, hope all of u hv a happy happy chinese new year! do rmbr to collect angpows on my behalf yea.. n Seanie, i rmbr what u said over msn regarding angpows! *grinz.. this is jus a gentle reminder.. hehee.. ;)

oh yea.. this is my first blog from my new home.. hehh.. finally shifted over to this place last Sunday.. :)