got the new evanescence song stuck in my head.. the song with the word 'sacrifice' in the lyrics.. kinda like it..
note for the day: tomorrow's dreams are built on today's sacrifices.
note to others: i've sent my resume out to IMCB, so u guys better be praying hard that i get the job.. n yes, the central theme in the cover letter is on 'dream'... i'm dreaming today, are u? ;)
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Disclaimer: Please read the following with a pinch (or a bowl, if needed) of salt.
I cannot or rather I shall not be transparent. It may be hard for you to understand, why it is so difficult for me. Perhaps it seems so unnatural to me, so very vulnerable to allow you to see through me. What else then would be left on me, what else would there be left for you to see? Maybe my greatest struggle is in losing you. That when you finally see and understand my very being, you will leave me, never to cast another look at me again. I don't want to lose you. Yet the irony is that by putting this self on, in the end I lose not only you, but also myself.
I cannot or rather I shall not be transparent. It may be hard for you to understand, why it is so difficult for me. Perhaps it seems so unnatural to me, so very vulnerable to allow you to see through me. What else then would be left on me, what else would there be left for you to see? Maybe my greatest struggle is in losing you. That when you finally see and understand my very being, you will leave me, never to cast another look at me again. I don't want to lose you. Yet the irony is that by putting this self on, in the end I lose not only you, but also myself.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
taking small positive steps. tt's what i learnt from meeting a fren to talk about a business venture. yes, szeyung is getting herself into financial stuff again, as if her prev rendezvous with insurance agents were not enough. hehhh...
anyway, i'm proud to report that my resume is done up. jus inputted my new working experience n i think tt about settles it. the rest remains cos they're quite concise anyway. as for the cover letter, well... i'm wondering if i shd put in the funky way of starting it: "Do you believe in dreams? It is my dream to work in cancer research especially towards the therapeutic end, and biopolis, to me, has always been a dream place to work in. So, when I attended your previous lectures at NTU, and heard about what your current research interests are, I could not believe my ears. This is exactly what I would love to be working on..."
well, still working on it... hehhh... ;)
anyway, i'm proud to report that my resume is done up. jus inputted my new working experience n i think tt about settles it. the rest remains cos they're quite concise anyway. as for the cover letter, well... i'm wondering if i shd put in the funky way of starting it: "Do you believe in dreams? It is my dream to work in cancer research especially towards the therapeutic end, and biopolis, to me, has always been a dream place to work in. So, when I attended your previous lectures at NTU, and heard about what your current research interests are, I could not believe my ears. This is exactly what I would love to be working on..."
well, still working on it... hehhh... ;)
i typed this draft on Friday night.. din get to post it online.. cos somehow din know how to end it. hehh... anyway, here it is:
decide to move out of my blue mood. not doing me good anyway.
wednesday found me thinking of one person in particular:
you taught me how to draw shooting stars with four pointy legs n four curvy sides. and it was you who introduced the "stars shining bright above me..." song. i have missed you, and i have lost touch with you somehow. so have all of your other friends here. where are you? i wonder when it would be that i would see you again.
wednesday also found me meeting an old fren from my college days. used to have a liking for him last time. found out that he has a girlfren now in the States. m happy for him. n it was a good time spent chatting, catching up. for once, it's not jus reminiscing bout the past, but oso knowing what the person is really doing, how his job is like now. tho when we parted it felt almost as if we would not b in touch for another long period of time. as if there's not a need to. quite a sad truth that we may hv exhausted all tt is needed to convey between us. i guess that is what happen when frens move out of the usual social circle tt associates them in the past.
thursday found me with a clear decision to leave my current job, more determined than ever. n may this resolution enable me to send out my resume by this weekend. i gave up on an opportunity to study in Japan over a week ago. not that i was close to getting it, i din even fill up the application form. what stopped me was the need to get reference letters, but that made me think seriously bout it. yea, i shdnt b going so soon. not when i hv not establish my grounds in research. i'm still a small fry. furthermore, my finance is not looking very good. i shdnt go over there empty handed n expect them to feed me. there shd b some level of financial sustainability before i go, i told myself tt before.
well, Good Friday is today!!!
---
now it's Sunday.. n i've still not done up my resume n cover letter to send out... *darn..
decide to move out of my blue mood. not doing me good anyway.
wednesday found me thinking of one person in particular:
you taught me how to draw shooting stars with four pointy legs n four curvy sides. and it was you who introduced the "stars shining bright above me..." song. i have missed you, and i have lost touch with you somehow. so have all of your other friends here. where are you? i wonder when it would be that i would see you again.
wednesday also found me meeting an old fren from my college days. used to have a liking for him last time. found out that he has a girlfren now in the States. m happy for him. n it was a good time spent chatting, catching up. for once, it's not jus reminiscing bout the past, but oso knowing what the person is really doing, how his job is like now. tho when we parted it felt almost as if we would not b in touch for another long period of time. as if there's not a need to. quite a sad truth that we may hv exhausted all tt is needed to convey between us. i guess that is what happen when frens move out of the usual social circle tt associates them in the past.
thursday found me with a clear decision to leave my current job, more determined than ever. n may this resolution enable me to send out my resume by this weekend. i gave up on an opportunity to study in Japan over a week ago. not that i was close to getting it, i din even fill up the application form. what stopped me was the need to get reference letters, but that made me think seriously bout it. yea, i shdnt b going so soon. not when i hv not establish my grounds in research. i'm still a small fry. furthermore, my finance is not looking very good. i shdnt go over there empty handed n expect them to feed me. there shd b some level of financial sustainability before i go, i told myself tt before.
well, Good Friday is today!!!
---
now it's Sunday.. n i've still not done up my resume n cover letter to send out... *darn..
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
it's a good feeling to run after a downpour.
cooling n refreshing was the run,
cooling n refreshing to my soul.
i've learnt not to take too much to heart the dead of my lil rammie.. the last n remaining one died yesterday. i was half expecting it to, cos it mus hv been lonely all by itself there.
n i've learnt that stubbornness makes one feel very lonely.
cooling n refreshing was the run,
cooling n refreshing to my soul.
i've learnt not to take too much to heart the dead of my lil rammie.. the last n remaining one died yesterday. i was half expecting it to, cos it mus hv been lonely all by itself there.
n i've learnt that stubbornness makes one feel very lonely.
Monday, March 21, 2005
szeyung vs the whole world
decided to eat some ice cream. been wanting to eat the ice cream at home for some time now, but it seems that everytime i came back, it was either too late, or i lost appetite to eat it. n i needed the ice cream to chill out.
the day started bad, started with my lil rammie fish dead. it was more sad that it died over the weekend, n i actualli saw the dead body on Sat without realising it was dead cos my boss n i thot it was hiding up there behind the pumps. then when it was still lingering at the exact same spot today, i smelt sth fishy. true enough, my rammie was dead. so was quite upset bout that, n compose a lil sth for it:
Tribute to my rammie
why the doleful look,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
new ones shall come,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
don't be so saddened,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
it's just a fish!
sorry, it's not that i agree with the consoling words, but rather the same lines were repeated in my head: the fish is dead. haiz... nth much i can do bout it. took a while for my boss to realise the missing fish, n for him to once again say the same lines: "we're not very good at keeping the fish, are we?".. tho "we" are implicated, the accusing tone is not so well hidden. so, haiz..
then tonite... well... haiz... i dun wanna mention bout it anymore. repeated too many mental pictures of what could hv been, how i shd hv reacted, n so forth... still feel the sting, n not too sure how to apologise properly to my fren cos worse of all, she's not even a very close fren tt i keep in touch with. jus tt both of us can click off quite well when we r tgether. ugh.. really wish i can jus melt or fade out from the world then n there..
anyway.. i need more ice cream...
decided to eat some ice cream. been wanting to eat the ice cream at home for some time now, but it seems that everytime i came back, it was either too late, or i lost appetite to eat it. n i needed the ice cream to chill out.
the day started bad, started with my lil rammie fish dead. it was more sad that it died over the weekend, n i actualli saw the dead body on Sat without realising it was dead cos my boss n i thot it was hiding up there behind the pumps. then when it was still lingering at the exact same spot today, i smelt sth fishy. true enough, my rammie was dead. so was quite upset bout that, n compose a lil sth for it:
Tribute to my rammie
why the doleful look,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
new ones shall come,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
don't be so saddened,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.
it's just a fish!
sorry, it's not that i agree with the consoling words, but rather the same lines were repeated in my head: the fish is dead. haiz... nth much i can do bout it. took a while for my boss to realise the missing fish, n for him to once again say the same lines: "we're not very good at keeping the fish, are we?".. tho "we" are implicated, the accusing tone is not so well hidden. so, haiz..
then tonite... well... haiz... i dun wanna mention bout it anymore. repeated too many mental pictures of what could hv been, how i shd hv reacted, n so forth... still feel the sting, n not too sure how to apologise properly to my fren cos worse of all, she's not even a very close fren tt i keep in touch with. jus tt both of us can click off quite well when we r tgether. ugh.. really wish i can jus melt or fade out from the world then n there..
anyway.. i need more ice cream...
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Running Frenzy.
My legs wanted to run, and my mind set out the route. My lungs complained that it would be breathing in dust and dirt from the bypassing cars. My right hand refused to carry the pouch as it had done its service on Wednesday night; the left hand didn't seem to mind taking over the duty as it wanted to be useful rather than just punching air. My eyes yearned to see uncharted sights, and my ears could not say anything but only listened to the rest. My body boasted of fats here and there that were very much in want of burning, and perhaps roasting under the hot sun as the body could do with extra Vitamin D supplement. So majority voted, and off I went for my fourth run of the week.
hahaa... a short anecdote. anyway, it was an enjoyable run today albeit it being an alternative plan. i wanted to run around NTU route twice. wanna topped up my stamina in long dist over the weekend. but my tuition got cancelled so there was no need for me to travel down to Boon Lay. well, it's not that i din do enough long dist this week. ran from NTU to CCK last Wed with XM (haha... found a better nickname to refer to u on my bloggie.. Sin is jus, er... u know the Christian context..). gosh, it was a good run.. like the run i had before in ECP long long time ago, where i felt that i could jus run on forever... so good! *thumbs up.. tho i'm not too sure whether we shd try the route again, mb not at such an eerie hour.. *chuckles..
had another run on Friday too, with my ol' jogging kakis. i forgot that NUS route was as challenging. yes, it has been a while. before i started the jog, i went back to Blk 3 in PGP, to catch a glimpse of my dear music room. i miss that place, miss the time while i was studying for my tests then i wld pop over n practise the song piece "Superman" by Five for Fighting. *grinz.. still cant play that song yet. haiz.. a long way to go before i can play a decent tune on the piano. then after the jog we went to west coast... haiz.. brings back memories of days gone by. but yea, it has changed. i din like the change, tho it might b welcoming to hv a cool hang-out place like McD, west coast can do well without it.
ooh, to my jogging kaki enthusiasts, here are the distances:
NTU extended route (XM n me usu run) - 5.5km
NTU shorter 179 route (Fongky n me) - 3.7km
NTU to CCK (from XM's hall to my blk) - surprisingly onli 10km
NUS A2 route - 4.4km
NUS to Orchard 106 route (from PGP to Tanglin Mall) - 6.8km
however ridiculously short the distances actually are, my personal advise is not to be fooled, cos the slopes are not taken into consideration n those are the real killers in a run.. :S
oh, n i hereby announce myself as a proud member of National Library Board. *grinz.. finally made up my mind to sign up for membership, since it's onli $10.50 n it's for lifetime, or rather as long as my PR is still valid. i'm always a person for borrowing books, more than buying them. n the national library has more fiction. managed to borrow Oscar Wilde's short stories and Kundera's Farewell Waltz. at first i thot Kundera was some serious writer because of all the titles of his books that i've heard, but they are all novels. perhaps his writing is as meaningful as Coelho's or Morrie's. i'm still reading to find out...
My legs wanted to run, and my mind set out the route. My lungs complained that it would be breathing in dust and dirt from the bypassing cars. My right hand refused to carry the pouch as it had done its service on Wednesday night; the left hand didn't seem to mind taking over the duty as it wanted to be useful rather than just punching air. My eyes yearned to see uncharted sights, and my ears could not say anything but only listened to the rest. My body boasted of fats here and there that were very much in want of burning, and perhaps roasting under the hot sun as the body could do with extra Vitamin D supplement. So majority voted, and off I went for my fourth run of the week.
hahaa... a short anecdote. anyway, it was an enjoyable run today albeit it being an alternative plan. i wanted to run around NTU route twice. wanna topped up my stamina in long dist over the weekend. but my tuition got cancelled so there was no need for me to travel down to Boon Lay. well, it's not that i din do enough long dist this week. ran from NTU to CCK last Wed with XM (haha... found a better nickname to refer to u on my bloggie.. Sin is jus, er... u know the Christian context..). gosh, it was a good run.. like the run i had before in ECP long long time ago, where i felt that i could jus run on forever... so good! *thumbs up.. tho i'm not too sure whether we shd try the route again, mb not at such an eerie hour.. *chuckles..
had another run on Friday too, with my ol' jogging kakis. i forgot that NUS route was as challenging. yes, it has been a while. before i started the jog, i went back to Blk 3 in PGP, to catch a glimpse of my dear music room. i miss that place, miss the time while i was studying for my tests then i wld pop over n practise the song piece "Superman" by Five for Fighting. *grinz.. still cant play that song yet. haiz.. a long way to go before i can play a decent tune on the piano. then after the jog we went to west coast... haiz.. brings back memories of days gone by. but yea, it has changed. i din like the change, tho it might b welcoming to hv a cool hang-out place like McD, west coast can do well without it.
ooh, to my jogging kaki enthusiasts, here are the distances:
NTU extended route (XM n me usu run) - 5.5km
NTU shorter 179 route (Fongky n me) - 3.7km
NTU to CCK (from XM's hall to my blk) - surprisingly onli 10km
NUS A2 route - 4.4km
NUS to Orchard 106 route (from PGP to Tanglin Mall) - 6.8km
however ridiculously short the distances actually are, my personal advise is not to be fooled, cos the slopes are not taken into consideration n those are the real killers in a run.. :S
oh, n i hereby announce myself as a proud member of National Library Board. *grinz.. finally made up my mind to sign up for membership, since it's onli $10.50 n it's for lifetime, or rather as long as my PR is still valid. i'm always a person for borrowing books, more than buying them. n the national library has more fiction. managed to borrow Oscar Wilde's short stories and Kundera's Farewell Waltz. at first i thot Kundera was some serious writer because of all the titles of his books that i've heard, but they are all novels. perhaps his writing is as meaningful as Coelho's or Morrie's. i'm still reading to find out...
Monday, March 07, 2005
i guess this is one of those times when i wld start off by saying i shdnt b blogging.. heck.. i shant feel guilty bout blogging, not when i feel that this is going to b an impt entry. anyway, i hv to wait for my laundry to be done.. tho i guess i hv to help my fren edit n format her resume.. but well.. i can always sleep less, n give my boss the tired look again tmr.. :P
Family.
I love my family, if I have not mentioned this point enough or wrote about it before. And today being home after one whole week of absence makes me feel that obscure love even more. My family has never been demonstrative in terms of showing love for one another. In fact, I started telling my mom "I love you" and "I miss you" 5 years ago when I realise that such words are not to be kept inside the heart only. Sadly, this is not the way with my two brothers. Our love remains very much hidden in words and actions, but I can feel it tender and light as it may be.
On Saturday, my sister-in-law approached me with the question whether I would be around on Sunday because she wanted to cook lunch. Of course, she did not ask out of the sake of cooking enough for the family, but it was asked to tell me that she wants me to be around. I was very much waiting for them to ask because it is rare for me to go missing every night and to come home very late. I usually make it a point to be around at home on some days of the week, especially on Sunday as that is what I take as my family day.
My eldest brother felt my absence too. On Sunday night, he wanted me to buy Pepsi Twist when I come back. Of course, he was lazy to go down and buy himself, but I feel that this was another way of him telling me to come back early; he needs his Pepsi. Hahaa.. But I was at my friend's lab until very late, so by the time I did come back, he was sleeping already.
My second brother has always been the closest to me. However, we have not talked much for a long time. Now the new place is not helping either. Because whenever they switch on their air-con, it also means close-door policy is reinforced. And the living room is under-used for family gathering and usually used just to watch TV. Thankfully today, we went for a run. I did not drag my second brother; he wanted to run. *chuckles.. And I needed a run anyway, trying to up my running to three times a week. We did not run much because he had not run for a few months, but we did get to talk. That was good. Then we went to Choa Chu Kang Park, the one next to Lot1. It was my first time there because I never dare to venture in there alone. A nice park, reminds me of West Coast, with the sound of the waves replaced by the sound of traffic on the Kranji Expressway.
So my family is very important to me. The only conflict sometimes is when God comes into the picture. There are times when my mother would make mention about Christianity and how it has affected her family, meaning my grandparents, uncles and aunts. It hurts me. Then there was one Sunday when I had concluded my bible study, my eldest brother was rather happy because then I could be around at home to help out with some stuff. My mother made mention of that too. And I know it is true, therefore it hurts me. I can't give up on my family, more so I can't give up on God. I just wish, pray that one day both will reconcile.
Family.
I love my family, if I have not mentioned this point enough or wrote about it before. And today being home after one whole week of absence makes me feel that obscure love even more. My family has never been demonstrative in terms of showing love for one another. In fact, I started telling my mom "I love you" and "I miss you" 5 years ago when I realise that such words are not to be kept inside the heart only. Sadly, this is not the way with my two brothers. Our love remains very much hidden in words and actions, but I can feel it tender and light as it may be.
On Saturday, my sister-in-law approached me with the question whether I would be around on Sunday because she wanted to cook lunch. Of course, she did not ask out of the sake of cooking enough for the family, but it was asked to tell me that she wants me to be around. I was very much waiting for them to ask because it is rare for me to go missing every night and to come home very late. I usually make it a point to be around at home on some days of the week, especially on Sunday as that is what I take as my family day.
My eldest brother felt my absence too. On Sunday night, he wanted me to buy Pepsi Twist when I come back. Of course, he was lazy to go down and buy himself, but I feel that this was another way of him telling me to come back early; he needs his Pepsi. Hahaa.. But I was at my friend's lab until very late, so by the time I did come back, he was sleeping already.
My second brother has always been the closest to me. However, we have not talked much for a long time. Now the new place is not helping either. Because whenever they switch on their air-con, it also means close-door policy is reinforced. And the living room is under-used for family gathering and usually used just to watch TV. Thankfully today, we went for a run. I did not drag my second brother; he wanted to run. *chuckles.. And I needed a run anyway, trying to up my running to three times a week. We did not run much because he had not run for a few months, but we did get to talk. That was good. Then we went to Choa Chu Kang Park, the one next to Lot1. It was my first time there because I never dare to venture in there alone. A nice park, reminds me of West Coast, with the sound of the waves replaced by the sound of traffic on the Kranji Expressway.
So my family is very important to me. The only conflict sometimes is when God comes into the picture. There are times when my mother would make mention about Christianity and how it has affected her family, meaning my grandparents, uncles and aunts. It hurts me. Then there was one Sunday when I had concluded my bible study, my eldest brother was rather happy because then I could be around at home to help out with some stuff. My mother made mention of that too. And I know it is true, therefore it hurts me. I can't give up on my family, more so I can't give up on God. I just wish, pray that one day both will reconcile.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Howl's Moving Castle is just marvellous! It tickles n warms my heart, completely winning me over. I jus love Studio Ghibli's works. Howl's is somewhat different from Whisper of the Heart, Princess Mononoke, and Grave of the Fireflies in that all these are quite touchy, and realistic (except for Mononoke). I wasnt very much taken with Spirited Away, cos i felt it rather abstract n difficult for me to catch. Howl's just captures me. It's hilarious like The Incredibles, and yet it moves u to sigh.. *haiz.. wish I can be Sophie, then I wun mind being old.. haha..
tonite me managed to hv a lil movie marathon with dear Fongky. *grinz.. thanks old gal. needed someone to watch Howl's with me, n my eld brother was my last option. hehe.. not that he doesn't make good company, but he'd be coupled with his wife, n after the show, it's not the same as with ur fren when u can remember n talk n laugh bout certain parts of the show.. *smile..
Lemony Snicket's was a... erm... well, i dun read the book so i did not know what to expect. n at first i thot it was a scary show cos i had to calculate the duration of the movie so as to chk that we wld still hv public transport to get back home, so i went to their official website.. the eye was so scary.. n imagine me viewing it late last nite... eekies!.. anyway, the movie was okie lah.. (cannot b compared with my Howl's.. *chuckles.. yesh, u shall hear me "howling".. wld love to watch this animation again..).. tho i mus admit it has a very brilliant intro to the show, got us fooled that we got into the wrong cinema.. hehee.. n the more memorable part of the show being these words: "The world may be sinister, but there's still much good in it than bad..." or sth to that effect. i think tt's comforting to know. :)
other movies that i watched in the cinema for the past month: Constantine and The Aviator. both are quite good. i love Keanu in Constantine, n somehow cant get rid of the image of him giving the devil the F-finger when he got admitted into heaven.. i din expect to like The Aviator cos i wasnt much of a fan of DiCaprio, n i was thinking of watching it on VCD. *grinz.. but i did enjoy the show, esp as it is based on true story. i feel that there is so much we can learn from the life of other ppl. i like Beautiful Mind too - the story of Nash Brown.
sigh.. i love to watch movies. :)
tonite me managed to hv a lil movie marathon with dear Fongky. *grinz.. thanks old gal. needed someone to watch Howl's with me, n my eld brother was my last option. hehe.. not that he doesn't make good company, but he'd be coupled with his wife, n after the show, it's not the same as with ur fren when u can remember n talk n laugh bout certain parts of the show.. *smile..
Lemony Snicket's was a... erm... well, i dun read the book so i did not know what to expect. n at first i thot it was a scary show cos i had to calculate the duration of the movie so as to chk that we wld still hv public transport to get back home, so i went to their official website.. the eye was so scary.. n imagine me viewing it late last nite... eekies!.. anyway, the movie was okie lah.. (cannot b compared with my Howl's.. *chuckles.. yesh, u shall hear me "howling".. wld love to watch this animation again..).. tho i mus admit it has a very brilliant intro to the show, got us fooled that we got into the wrong cinema.. hehee.. n the more memorable part of the show being these words: "The world may be sinister, but there's still much good in it than bad..." or sth to that effect. i think tt's comforting to know. :)
other movies that i watched in the cinema for the past month: Constantine and The Aviator. both are quite good. i love Keanu in Constantine, n somehow cant get rid of the image of him giving the devil the F-finger when he got admitted into heaven.. i din expect to like The Aviator cos i wasnt much of a fan of DiCaprio, n i was thinking of watching it on VCD. *grinz.. but i did enjoy the show, esp as it is based on true story. i feel that there is so much we can learn from the life of other ppl. i like Beautiful Mind too - the story of Nash Brown.
sigh.. i love to watch movies. :)
Thursday, March 03, 2005
vanity of all vanity, i decided on painting my fingernails while waiting for my hair to dry. but it's certainly not easy. yest nite i gave up with jus my lil left pinkie painted.. tonite is jus the same sad story, now my lil right pinkie painted.. Lol... i got this sudden impulse to improve the outlook on my nails after this free nail art session at NTU welfare fair some two weeks ago. my nails looked nice painted, but the stupid me din know how long it would take them all to dry before i started on my experiment. so down the drain went all the nice work of the professional lady. aiks.. n i had to get nail remover to get the smeared paint off... bought myself a lil pink bottle that time too.. only began experimentation last nite.. now i know it's not easy to paint nails.. aiks.. :(
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
since i m away from work for now, thot i'll blog a lil tho i feel very much at the point of not knowing where to pick up. i've left so many parts of my life unblogged when i hv very much wanted to include them here. n over the weekend i wanted to write a looong blog.. but was too tired.. m tired now too.. tt's why i took an unofficial off from work. physically i m sposed to b at this symposium, which is rather unrelated to my current research work. mb onli the free food is relevant.. Lol..
went for GB camp over the weekend. learnt and received a lot from there. the speakers were very motivational n inspirational. i figured it out myself that these two terms are very different. the first one being to spur u on in what u are currently doing, n the latter being the pull to try new things. they are that powerful because they have lived the life that they speak of, dunno how many years of serving in GB.. m i willing to give myself to that? God, is that ur calling for me?
tis coming weekend is another session of drill.. n the thrill of it all is that i will b clad in a uniform when i graduate from this training course.. hee.. call it a girl dream of mine to be in a uniformed group. always wanted to b in redcross back in Brunei, but i rmbr one of the criteria being that u need to b citizen, so i din try for it. so.. heh heh hehhh.. now i will get the chance.. *happy..
then oso started my tuition sessions with this lil damsel again. i simply hope jus to make her want to study. i see the potential in her; she can b smart if she wants to be. mb she's jus off-track at the moment. haiz.. i need to make her study. good thing is i'm not showing her my soft-side anymore. not going to let her hv things her way. but i'm not such a meanie. her mom is quite another case oso. onli when her daughter is going to hv exams then she calls me back. haiz.. well, i'm trying not to b a spoilt market anymore by charging her too cheaply as what my other frens would say of me when i taught her last year. increased the price by jus a lil notch. grinz..
outside, my sound system is playing Ivory III.. testing how it would like given the concert effect.. terribly good, i mus admit.. n oso the lil scratchy noise that is heard in my ripped version in my comp got me into a fright. i thot i scratched the CD.. but phew.. it's still in excellent condition.. ;)
going back to hear.. n rest.. i need a good rest.. no stress.. Goodbye Yesterday is on.. my fave of them all..
went for GB camp over the weekend. learnt and received a lot from there. the speakers were very motivational n inspirational. i figured it out myself that these two terms are very different. the first one being to spur u on in what u are currently doing, n the latter being the pull to try new things. they are that powerful because they have lived the life that they speak of, dunno how many years of serving in GB.. m i willing to give myself to that? God, is that ur calling for me?
tis coming weekend is another session of drill.. n the thrill of it all is that i will b clad in a uniform when i graduate from this training course.. hee.. call it a girl dream of mine to be in a uniformed group. always wanted to b in redcross back in Brunei, but i rmbr one of the criteria being that u need to b citizen, so i din try for it. so.. heh heh hehhh.. now i will get the chance.. *happy..
then oso started my tuition sessions with this lil damsel again. i simply hope jus to make her want to study. i see the potential in her; she can b smart if she wants to be. mb she's jus off-track at the moment. haiz.. i need to make her study. good thing is i'm not showing her my soft-side anymore. not going to let her hv things her way. but i'm not such a meanie. her mom is quite another case oso. onli when her daughter is going to hv exams then she calls me back. haiz.. well, i'm trying not to b a spoilt market anymore by charging her too cheaply as what my other frens would say of me when i taught her last year. increased the price by jus a lil notch. grinz..
outside, my sound system is playing Ivory III.. testing how it would like given the concert effect.. terribly good, i mus admit.. n oso the lil scratchy noise that is heard in my ripped version in my comp got me into a fright. i thot i scratched the CD.. but phew.. it's still in excellent condition.. ;)
going back to hear.. n rest.. i need a good rest.. no stress.. Goodbye Yesterday is on.. my fave of them all..
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