I need to learn how to run alone again. Now and then, I'd caution the guys to run by themselves. Truth is, I've not been able to bring myself to do that as yet. I've always been running on the trainer now when I have to do it by myself. I can't picture myself running alone outside anymore.

Being alone. That's what I'm missing right now. Or perhaps, that may be what I am afraid of being right now. Bittersweet. Love-hate. I want to break away from all this. And just be...

Alone, and with others. With no gaps in between. No feelings of emptiness or something that has gone awry when I am in either situation. To be contented. Ah.. To be contented in all situations.