They say, drinking and driving don't mix. Well, for my case, it's drinking and running. Hee.. Had a bad onset of flu after I drank a bit too much on Saturday and an attempt to run 10km the next morning (and may I add, early in the morning!)...

I guess I lack rest. My body always acts up when I don't have enough sleep. I usually overlook this fact, and torture my poor body to exhaustion. If my body can talk, it would most probably say "I give up".

Anyway, I still run. Try stopping me. Heh hehh.. Just that I don't run when I'm terribly sick, but I must keep up my stamina somehow. Looking forward to running long-er this weekend! :)

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Just found out that my dear sister is getting married end of this month. Wishing you the very best in your marriage & new life together with your special someone. May God's love be with you always.

Ten minutes cost 50cents. That's the food for thought today.

Now, how did I derive that? If I take the normal bus, it costs me $1.20. If I take the express bus, which arrives at school 10mins earlier than the other bus, it costs me $1.70. So viola!

The rain followed me today, I am sure. It sprang out at me, gave me a peck on my cheek as I left my block. Then it waved at me as I glanced out momentarily on the bus. Finally it tailed my faint shadows as I crossed the bus stop to science.

The clouds rolled across the sky, casting a certain spell over this place. It spelled rain. I think my dear friend just greeted me again as I looked out of my office window.

I need to learn how to run alone again. Now and then, I'd caution the guys to run by themselves. Truth is, I've not been able to bring myself to do that as yet. I've always been running on the trainer now when I have to do it by myself. I can't picture myself running alone outside anymore.

Being alone. That's what I'm missing right now. Or perhaps, that may be what I am afraid of being right now. Bittersweet. Love-hate. I want to break away from all this. And just be...

Alone, and with others. With no gaps in between. No feelings of emptiness or something that has gone awry when I am in either situation. To be contented. Ah.. To be contented in all situations.

Plain mode:

I ran 12km in 1h 23min.

...

Body aching too badly, affecting my creativity ability, which is quite low these days anyway.

Today is the day. What makes it so special? Just because today is the day I chose to start blogging again. No reason in particular.

There was that one day, I walked to the end of the platform, watched the train as it approached, felt the slap of the breeze as it went past, and got onto the last carriage. I haven't done this for a whle. Kind of make me forget how it was, how I enjoyed it. Those moments. Of being alone, by myself.

On another day, I just wished I was all by myself, in a small room. That I could do whatever I like. Paint, draw, write. Just by myself.

Then I found myself, back here, in a world of my own. :)

Yesterday I looked up in the sky and I saw cirrus clouds and I exclaimed: "Ah, today is going to be a beautiful day, such fine weather..."

It rained yesterday.

Today I looked up in the sky and I am reminded of what Jesus said in the Bible: "You fools. You're so good in telling the weather and times, but I tell you the truth, I shall come in a time when you least expect it."

So today I can only look up in the sky and claim that pretty patch of blue and pray "God, please don't let it rain today."

Told FK that I would blog tonight. And since I am waiting in Lex's lab for time to pass before I go out to run. Hehh, the rain may stall the run, but it ain't ruin it yet. Hee.. well, not for those who can stay late. Actually I did not want to send out messages to the rest that we'd still be running because not many people share the same joy of running as me (and perhaps also Lex) to stay late just to run. Hee..

Anyway, to update about my life, well... it has been good. I've been busy. Once my pastor told us that it's not about juggling so many balls in your life, but it's about dealing with one big ball. I guess I haven't mastered the perception of seeing my life as one big ball yet. I still see many balls - some small, some big and some even missing. Acks... Any good psychologist will tell me that I need to get my life back together again, but that's just it. What if this IS life, my life? I just need to better manage it. ;)

My lab has been re-painted today. And tomorrow my boss will come back for a surprise ribbon cutting ceremony just to show him how nice the little place is now. Except for the paint smell, I really like my lab better now. I'd have a lot of cleaning up to do though. But that will be later.

What else about my life?.. Hm.. So busy I must have loads to type about. Had seafood dinner last Sat with my mom. She saw this advertisement for a half-day tour to JB for seafood then a shopping spree. It was quite a mad rush. We were delayed on a few occasions and only managed to start eating at around 9pm. By the time we were done with dinner, it was 10.30pm and it took 30mins to go Jusco (the biggest shopping mall in Malaysia and possible Asia), and the shop would close at 11.30pm. Some shopping trip! Hehh.. only bought some running shorts for my brothers. Then worse bit was when I was brushing my teeth that night, I brushed so hard that I vomited. Eww.. And I found out that mushroom actually takes the longest while to digest. ;p

Another gross event that happened to me, was a near death experience. (hee, just checking that I have your fullest attention. ;p) I donated blood just last month, and it was a bad timing. Because I just recovered not that long ago from sickness (more than 3 weeks is considered okay, and I qualify for that). Perhaps also this time round, my blood gushed out faster than before. After the nurse removed my needle, I felt light in my head and I was losing my hearing. There was a dull ache in my brain, so I thought I'd just close my eyes to bear with the pain. The next thing I knew, I was in darkness. Not the kind that makes me frightened, but a comforting and peaceful darkness. And soon, I opened my eyes and the nurses were looking down at my face. It appeared that I fainted and I caught the nurses' attention when I coughed or sneezed (which I myself did not know). Hm, but it does make me wonder. If death is like that, all comforting and peaceful, then I need not fear death. I actually like that feeling so much that I wish it'll stay on longer.

Anyway, the next day after donating blood, I did not feel well, so I had to call in the blood centre and had them remove my blood from being used. I felt that this is so wrong, so sad. I gave my blood and just because it may not be good, it could not be used. It reminded me suddenly of Christ's blood. Thanks be to God, for the blood of the Lamb, that it is good enough to cleanse us, to give us life. :)

If We Are The Body - Casting Crowns

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

Chorus:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Jesus is the way

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I am more touched by the chorus of this song. I can't remember how the first and second verses go. O well... It speaks tonnes about the lack of God's empowerment in our lives these days. What happened to the days of Elijah, to the times when the apostles had such strong encounters?! I believe such events still happen, but perhaps more intimate, more personal to everyone who experience it.

For those who kinda wonder where i am. Well, just have a little faith, i m still here. *winks*

Will blog more bout my life soon. Must get back to work now. Tata~!