yes, Dogville is certainly something I'd never expect. Its name sounds dodgy, and perhaps a 2nd class movie. But no, Dogville is now highly recommended, and of world class standard! I really enjoyed the movie last night over at Fongky's. Without her, the movie would have been non-existence for me. *thanx gal!

The part that striked me the most is that Grace is arrogant. I like the way her father depicted it. How she forgave and condone the acts of others, and it was all because she was arrogant. And Grace was like grace. She wasn't really needed by the town, in fact she was there to provide what did not need to be done, but that which you won't mind being done for you. First came the acceptance of Grace, then to forgive her, and finally to take her for granted, and to take advantage of her. And for all that, Grace is arrogant!

Other highlights in my life:

I permed my hair!!! Hahaa.. I did not want to publicize this yet until I have shocked enough people. And bless Fongky for bringing her camera as she came over to NTU to visit. I've posted my new hairdo in my yahoo photos, though don't expect too drastic a change. I decided to spare my hair from highlighting, and somehow I felt it would be very unlike me to have any other hair colour except black.

Last Friday my boss went to Swizterland with one of my postgrad students, so currently I can slack all I want in lab, considering that I don't have much ado. The postgrad is not that enthu to teach me, and neither am I that enthu to learn LC-MS (i'll spare those non-science people the "gory" details of this technique). Plus, he did not know much, so I'll just wait till my other postgrad come back, and he's more sure, I hope! So yesterday was my super slack day after the long weekend. And since Fongky popped by, we went with another friend to the coffee place in NIE as he is part-timing there. Even he doesn't know what the name of the place is, but it is cosy and I won't mind spending a whole afternoon reading. Coffee is remarkably cheap too, as you get somewhere near Coffee Bean standard. Hm, when else would I be able to find time off to sit and read there, I wonder. My boss will be back next Monday.

Today is so-so a slack day. Managed to catch a wink of two 20minutes interval while doing experiments. Then momie called during lunch hour and I had to go Jurong Point to help her open a bank account because the bank requested for a PR holder to sign credibility for her good character (what kind of new rule is this?!). So I went during my 1-hour interval. The heat today is unbearable. It gave me a splitting headache, and I was thinking of downing coffee from BoonLay to conquer drowsiness but time was not on my side. And I parted with $10 for a charity partly because the volunteer was too fast a speaker and partly because I was still in a half-dazed state. I just wanted him to go away. And for that $10 I got a booklight, so now I can use that to read books until late at night without disturbing my mother too much.

I'm craving for a run, the $3 cheesecake from the new cafe in my school, and the 50cents coffee from BoonLay NTWU.

As I passed the causeway bridge, a dark, black body of sea greeted me. On my return, it wasn't any softened either. The dark clouds of rain capitalised on the pending gloom, and the lightning only made the contrast more striking. Such was the atmosphere that greeted my mother's homecoming to Singapore.

today is spring cleaning day.. hahaha.. i know, i know.. it's not anywhere near chinese new year, or any public holiday in that respect, but MOMIE IS COMING HOME TODAY!!! *grinz..

took another off day. i think i enjoy taking off days too much. might b bad esp if i exhaust them all... well, nowhere near that yet, still hav 11 more off days.. :)

one whole morning of getting my room cleaned up, n organized.. i'm now a proud lady of the house. i think i like this feel, of cleaning the house n getting everything neat n tidy. then i'll spend the time listening, or rather blasting, music from my comp while reading a book. it feels good, feels like i own this place n there's nothing else i need to do but to keep this place in order. then the rest of the time i can jus do whatever pleases me. tt's good. haha.. sadly, life is not as simple, or mb it's jus perceived as such...

weekend was good, but very tiring. learnt that being saved n being safe are two very different thing. it is one thing to know that in Christ i am saved... n yet another to say i am safe. it may just not be so. life has its perils, i may embark into one of them n lose everything in it. i dun know. i'm still working out on this aspect. tt's all i can say for now..

ooh.. my GB girls won SILVER in the competition !!! so proud of each n every one of them.. *beam.. so waking up at 5am on Sat, going down to Fairfield Methodist Sec Sch, sending them all the way to Sentosa in their bus coach.. well, all that is definitely not wasted.. it wasnt wasted at the start of that day anyway, cos i know each of them really treasure the support. love them, now am going to miss them cos me dunno what else is going to happen next. with the end of this competition, it kinda marks the end of my work with them. hmm.. shall see what else comes next...

okies, the lady of the house now wishes to return to her books, with her Avril Lavinge blasting in her ears.. yes, she likes a pear from the fridge too... *poof...

had a most interesting day. n yes, it is GOOD to take half day off from work. mb i shd do that more often. *grinz..

went Orchard searching high n lo for the firstlove art exhibition. apparently i forgot the address, jus knew tt it was near Borders. almost lost hope in ever finding it, n was thinking whether to call up dear ol' Fongky n ask her to chk on the web for me. well, thank God i managed to find it finally altho it is really in a very recluse place - Shaw Centre. perhaps it is overshadowed by Lido, as tt's where most of the crowd usu goes to.

hmm.. my first Christian art exhibition.. what to say. how to compare. it's really a different feel altogether from Teo Eng Seng's @ Holland V. tho i started off with the same 'chicken' feeling of entering the exhibition alone. somehow quite scared, n had to pace outside the shop a while before gathering enough courage to enter. (perhaps, i shd hv called Fongky to ask for directions, then can drag her down too. hehh..) well, Mr Samuel Teo sorta left me alone to view his art. he was expecting his students to come, so... yea, definitely not as frenly n as inviting as the other Mr Teo. but his art is rather self-explanatory n has a very clear message.. not forgetting to mention that he actually wrote his own words with Bible verses either on the side of the canvas or on it. i like the words, it sorta blend in with the art. i like his art, it sorta speaks the words. n Mr Teo is self-taught too, all the more admirable. i left my contact in his guestbook, perhaps he might send me an invite to his next art exhibition.. till then, i might drag other ppl down with me.

after the fresh n refreshing art experience, i made my way down to Kinokuniya. i know, Borders was nearer to where i was then, but i like Kino more. cos there is this side corridor by a large pane of glass window (tt which Mr J n Fongky n Alex spent our time there last time, n which has now become my fave spot), n it's absolutely marvellous to sit there hours to read a book (yea, i still dun hv the habit of buying books, not yet..). it reminds me of the shot in Lost in Translation where the woman sat by the window sill of the high-rise building overlooking the skyscrapers in Japan. i like that kind of feel. sadly they hv removed the tables n chairs outside the balcony belonging to coffee club. all the better actually, cos then less intrusion of privacy for my part. hehh..

read Anna and Mister God today. been wanting to read that book for some time. n it's very good, very thought provoking. the darnest thing is that i din get to finish reading it, n even worse than that, well.. i read the last chapter. cos i wanted to know how Anna died. not that it was the most impt bit of the story, cos i believe how she lived her life as the central theme of the book. so i will still go back to finish up the first part of the trilogy. not too sure whether i can make so many trips back to Kino.. o well, shall see how.. :)

tonite church conference rox! hahaa.. i like the lighting.. they did wonders with it. but of cos, the main focus is God. n yups, u bet Mister God is there alright! hahaa.. he's everywhere.. he's in my middle.. *grinz.. tho i felt quite heavy, quite burdened by the msg.. but it's a good sort of heaviness.. another 2 more days of conference.. then combined church service tis Sun.. yup yup yup.. looking forward to them all.. hee.. better than working.. :P

GOOD MORNING!!!

yes, it has been a long while since i shout out that kinda greeting on my blogpage. hee.. :)

jus feel joyous today. gg to be half day at work, then the rest of the afternoon will b spent at town. this is good. a break that i much needed. will pop by to an art exhibition by Samuel Teo, hope it is sth good, my first taste of Christian art. :D

well, i din take half day off jus to go out n enjoy but cos i thot i needed to do so for my church conference tis weekend, starting tonite. but i guess it was unnecessary cos today's session will onli start at ard 7pm, so i hv time to bum ard.. hee.. i dun mind that either.. hmm.. looking fwd to a great day~! hope the same goes for u!!!

i din know that red wine, plus a late night teh-ping can make me stay up one whole night. hehh.. well, i needed to work on the Bible qstns for last Sat's Sentosa. n it has been a long while since i made do with an hour of sleep before another hectic day. Saturday started off raining, n i hadnt planned for that. n i din hv any wet plan for the GB girls.. aiks.. so a lot of hiccups, but a lot of make-do oso lah.. so the whole thing wasnt that bad, but it wasnt as good as it wld hv been on a dry day either. oh well.. i jus thank God that i had enough helpers, n my dear maties were excellent on that day, esp the one who bao-kah-liao the games for me.. ;)

yea, the red wine bit was my boss' idea of further teaching us how to appreciate red wine. previously my postgrad got us some chip n beer to wind down after a most tense week for my lab. then my boss started to teach us about wine - Bordeaux wine, Australian wine... even went onto brandy n whiskey. hehh.. so last Fri, he decided to let us try some French wine from Bordeaux. quite a good one, really. but it took a while for the wine to oxidise n the taste to be less tangy n sharp. n i ordered pizza for the whole gang cos me thot u shd drink the wine with some food. (as i read in some books, that people wash the meat down with wine...)

well, i'm excited for my GB girls. they'd b gg for their competition tis Sat, gg against 57 other companies, not easy, but i'm sure the girls can handle the situation well. sad thing is tt i wun b able to b of much help or use on that actual day, cos i'll b more of a spectator, n a very distant spectator too. cos i m not sposed to be near to the girls to offer them any help. so i opted to go for my church conference instead. but shall give them a lil coach prep talk b4 they go off to Sentosa.. hehh.. this is sth that i learnt from last Sun's bible class.

ooh.. on that note, i've graduated from my bible class!! heee.. still got one more class to make-up actually, but they allow me to grad first. it reminded me acutely of NUS graduation day. of cos there wasnt a grad gown to wear for tis event lah.. but it was the same gg up the stage to get the cert. only diff is tt my senior pastor prayed for us, n i got to sit 2nd row away from the stage for service. so near to Ps Khong while he was preaching, so scary. even tho i slept onli a wink the night before, i dared not fell asleep in front of Pastor. hehh.. n he looked at the front row several times too.. so paiseh if i fell asleep! n me being one of the graduands. hahaa..

got new books to read. today went over to Lee Wee Nam to photocopy some docs, then stumbled onto Jap books!!! greedy me, took up a stack of 6 books in one go, n used up the remaining quota of my staff lib card. m so happy. hehee.. then last wkend, me managed to get two of Coelho's books: Veronika Decides to Die and Eleven Minutes. i'm not too sure whether i wld hv the time to read n use all these books.. hope so, hope so.. anywayz, better get started with my Jap.. getting late now.. toodles~

got the new evanescence song stuck in my head.. the song with the word 'sacrifice' in the lyrics.. kinda like it..

note for the day: tomorrow's dreams are built on today's sacrifices.

note to others: i've sent my resume out to IMCB, so u guys better be praying hard that i get the job.. n yes, the central theme in the cover letter is on 'dream'... i'm dreaming today, are u? ;)

Disclaimer: Please read the following with a pinch (or a bowl, if needed) of salt.

I cannot or rather I shall not be transparent. It may be hard for you to understand, why it is so difficult for me. Perhaps it seems so unnatural to me, so very vulnerable to allow you to see through me. What else then would be left on me, what else would there be left for you to see? Maybe my greatest struggle is in losing you. That when you finally see and understand my very being, you will leave me, never to cast another look at me again. I don't want to lose you. Yet the irony is that by putting this self on, in the end I lose not only you, but also myself.

give me a break
writing from scratch isn't easy

give me a break
after a long day's work

give me a break
i just want to sleep

tomorrow --- oh, the worst progression of procrastination

taking small positive steps. tt's what i learnt from meeting a fren to talk about a business venture. yes, szeyung is getting herself into financial stuff again, as if her prev rendezvous with insurance agents were not enough. hehhh...

anyway, i'm proud to report that my resume is done up. jus inputted my new working experience n i think tt about settles it. the rest remains cos they're quite concise anyway. as for the cover letter, well... i'm wondering if i shd put in the funky way of starting it: "Do you believe in dreams? It is my dream to work in cancer research especially towards the therapeutic end, and biopolis, to me, has always been a dream place to work in. So, when I attended your previous lectures at NTU, and heard about what your current research interests are, I could not believe my ears. This is exactly what I would love to be working on..."

well, still working on it... hehhh... ;)

i typed this draft on Friday night.. din get to post it online.. cos somehow din know how to end it. hehh... anyway, here it is:

decide to move out of my blue mood. not doing me good anyway.

wednesday found me thinking of one person in particular:
you taught me how to draw shooting stars with four pointy legs n four curvy sides. and it was you who introduced the "stars shining bright above me..." song. i have missed you, and i have lost touch with you somehow. so have all of your other friends here. where are you? i wonder when it would be that i would see you again.

wednesday also found me meeting an old fren from my college days. used to have a liking for him last time. found out that he has a girlfren now in the States. m happy for him. n it was a good time spent chatting, catching up. for once, it's not jus reminiscing bout the past, but oso knowing what the person is really doing, how his job is like now. tho when we parted it felt almost as if we would not b in touch for another long period of time. as if there's not a need to. quite a sad truth that we may hv exhausted all tt is needed to convey between us. i guess that is what happen when frens move out of the usual social circle tt associates them in the past.

thursday found me with a clear decision to leave my current job, more determined than ever. n may this resolution enable me to send out my resume by this weekend. i gave up on an opportunity to study in Japan over a week ago. not that i was close to getting it, i din even fill up the application form. what stopped me was the need to get reference letters, but that made me think seriously bout it. yea, i shdnt b going so soon. not when i hv not establish my grounds in research. i'm still a small fry. furthermore, my finance is not looking very good. i shdnt go over there empty handed n expect them to feed me. there shd b some level of financial sustainability before i go, i told myself tt before.

well, Good Friday is today!!!

---

now it's Sunday.. n i've still not done up my resume n cover letter to send out... *darn..

it's a good feeling to run after a downpour.
cooling n refreshing was the run,
cooling n refreshing to my soul.

i've learnt not to take too much to heart the dead of my lil rammie.. the last n remaining one died yesterday. i was half expecting it to, cos it mus hv been lonely all by itself there.

n i've learnt that stubbornness makes one feel very lonely.

szeyung vs the whole world

decided to eat some ice cream. been wanting to eat the ice cream at home for some time now, but it seems that everytime i came back, it was either too late, or i lost appetite to eat it. n i needed the ice cream to chill out.

the day started bad, started with my lil rammie fish dead. it was more sad that it died over the weekend, n i actualli saw the dead body on Sat without realising it was dead cos my boss n i thot it was hiding up there behind the pumps. then when it was still lingering at the exact same spot today, i smelt sth fishy. true enough, my rammie was dead. so was quite upset bout that, n compose a lil sth for it:

Tribute to my rammie

why the doleful look,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.

new ones shall come,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.

don't be so saddened,
a fish is dead
a fish is dead.

it's just a fish!

sorry, it's not that i agree with the consoling words, but rather the same lines were repeated in my head: the fish is dead. haiz... nth much i can do bout it. took a while for my boss to realise the missing fish, n for him to once again say the same lines: "we're not very good at keeping the fish, are we?".. tho "we" are implicated, the accusing tone is not so well hidden. so, haiz..

then tonite... well... haiz... i dun wanna mention bout it anymore. repeated too many mental pictures of what could hv been, how i shd hv reacted, n so forth... still feel the sting, n not too sure how to apologise properly to my fren cos worse of all, she's not even a very close fren tt i keep in touch with. jus tt both of us can click off quite well when we r tgether. ugh.. really wish i can jus melt or fade out from the world then n there..

anyway.. i need more ice cream...

i run when i am happy
i run when i am sad
i run when i have company
i run when i have problems

i run simply because i run.

agony is the wait of no reply
agony is the hope of unfulfillment

Running Frenzy.

My legs wanted to run, and my mind set out the route. My lungs complained that it would be breathing in dust and dirt from the bypassing cars. My right hand refused to carry the pouch as it had done its service on Wednesday night; the left hand didn't seem to mind taking over the duty as it wanted to be useful rather than just punching air. My eyes yearned to see uncharted sights, and my ears could not say anything but only listened to the rest. My body boasted of fats here and there that were very much in want of burning, and perhaps roasting under the hot sun as the body could do with extra Vitamin D supplement. So majority voted, and off I went for my fourth run of the week.

hahaa... a short anecdote. anyway, it was an enjoyable run today albeit it being an alternative plan. i wanted to run around NTU route twice. wanna topped up my stamina in long dist over the weekend. but my tuition got cancelled so there was no need for me to travel down to Boon Lay. well, it's not that i din do enough long dist this week. ran from NTU to CCK last Wed with XM (haha... found a better nickname to refer to u on my bloggie.. Sin is jus, er... u know the Christian context..). gosh, it was a good run.. like the run i had before in ECP long long time ago, where i felt that i could jus run on forever... so good! *thumbs up.. tho i'm not too sure whether we shd try the route again, mb not at such an eerie hour.. *chuckles..

had another run on Friday too, with my ol' jogging kakis. i forgot that NUS route was as challenging. yes, it has been a while. before i started the jog, i went back to Blk 3 in PGP, to catch a glimpse of my dear music room. i miss that place, miss the time while i was studying for my tests then i wld pop over n practise the song piece "Superman" by Five for Fighting. *grinz.. still cant play that song yet. haiz.. a long way to go before i can play a decent tune on the piano. then after the jog we went to west coast... haiz.. brings back memories of days gone by. but yea, it has changed. i din like the change, tho it might b welcoming to hv a cool hang-out place like McD, west coast can do well without it.

ooh, to my jogging kaki enthusiasts, here are the distances:

NTU extended route (XM n me usu run) - 5.5km
NTU shorter 179 route (Fongky n me) - 3.7km
NTU to CCK (from XM's hall to my blk) - surprisingly onli 10km
NUS A2 route - 4.4km
NUS to Orchard 106 route (from PGP to Tanglin Mall) - 6.8km

however ridiculously short the distances actually are, my personal advise is not to be fooled, cos the slopes are not taken into consideration n those are the real killers in a run.. :S

oh, n i hereby announce myself as a proud member of National Library Board. *grinz.. finally made up my mind to sign up for membership, since it's onli $10.50 n it's for lifetime, or rather as long as my PR is still valid. i'm always a person for borrowing books, more than buying them. n the national library has more fiction. managed to borrow Oscar Wilde's short stories and Kundera's Farewell Waltz. at first i thot Kundera was some serious writer because of all the titles of his books that i've heard, but they are all novels. perhaps his writing is as meaningful as Coelho's or Morrie's. i'm still reading to find out...

it's good to chat with a friend unreservedly about ur problems...

it's bad when things are not going the way u want them to..

it's always good to run, regardless where n when, even if the sun decides to come out blazingly, or if it hides behind the clouds.

i guess this is one of those times when i wld start off by saying i shdnt b blogging.. heck.. i shant feel guilty bout blogging, not when i feel that this is going to b an impt entry. anyway, i hv to wait for my laundry to be done.. tho i guess i hv to help my fren edit n format her resume.. but well.. i can always sleep less, n give my boss the tired look again tmr.. :P

Family.

I love my family, if I have not mentioned this point enough or wrote about it before. And today being home after one whole week of absence makes me feel that obscure love even more. My family has never been demonstrative in terms of showing love for one another. In fact, I started telling my mom "I love you" and "I miss you" 5 years ago when I realise that such words are not to be kept inside the heart only. Sadly, this is not the way with my two brothers. Our love remains very much hidden in words and actions, but I can feel it tender and light as it may be.

On Saturday, my sister-in-law approached me with the question whether I would be around on Sunday because she wanted to cook lunch. Of course, she did not ask out of the sake of cooking enough for the family, but it was asked to tell me that she wants me to be around. I was very much waiting for them to ask because it is rare for me to go missing every night and to come home very late. I usually make it a point to be around at home on some days of the week, especially on Sunday as that is what I take as my family day.

My eldest brother felt my absence too. On Sunday night, he wanted me to buy Pepsi Twist when I come back. Of course, he was lazy to go down and buy himself, but I feel that this was another way of him telling me to come back early; he needs his Pepsi. Hahaa.. But I was at my friend's lab until very late, so by the time I did come back, he was sleeping already.

My second brother has always been the closest to me. However, we have not talked much for a long time. Now the new place is not helping either. Because whenever they switch on their air-con, it also means close-door policy is reinforced. And the living room is under-used for family gathering and usually used just to watch TV. Thankfully today, we went for a run. I did not drag my second brother; he wanted to run. *chuckles.. And I needed a run anyway, trying to up my running to three times a week. We did not run much because he had not run for a few months, but we did get to talk. That was good. Then we went to Choa Chu Kang Park, the one next to Lot1. It was my first time there because I never dare to venture in there alone. A nice park, reminds me of West Coast, with the sound of the waves replaced by the sound of traffic on the Kranji Expressway.

So my family is very important to me. The only conflict sometimes is when God comes into the picture. There are times when my mother would make mention about Christianity and how it has affected her family, meaning my grandparents, uncles and aunts. It hurts me. Then there was one Sunday when I had concluded my bible study, my eldest brother was rather happy because then I could be around at home to help out with some stuff. My mother made mention of that too. And I know it is true, therefore it hurts me. I can't give up on my family, more so I can't give up on God. I just wish, pray that one day both will reconcile.

Howl's Moving Castle is just marvellous! It tickles n warms my heart, completely winning me over. I jus love Studio Ghibli's works. Howl's is somewhat different from Whisper of the Heart, Princess Mononoke, and Grave of the Fireflies in that all these are quite touchy, and realistic (except for Mononoke). I wasnt very much taken with Spirited Away, cos i felt it rather abstract n difficult for me to catch. Howl's just captures me. It's hilarious like The Incredibles, and yet it moves u to sigh.. *haiz.. wish I can be Sophie, then I wun mind being old.. haha..

tonite me managed to hv a lil movie marathon with dear Fongky. *grinz.. thanks old gal. needed someone to watch Howl's with me, n my eld brother was my last option. hehe.. not that he doesn't make good company, but he'd be coupled with his wife, n after the show, it's not the same as with ur fren when u can remember n talk n laugh bout certain parts of the show.. *smile..

Lemony Snicket's was a... erm... well, i dun read the book so i did not know what to expect. n at first i thot it was a scary show cos i had to calculate the duration of the movie so as to chk that we wld still hv public transport to get back home, so i went to their official website.. the eye was so scary.. n imagine me viewing it late last nite... eekies!.. anyway, the movie was okie lah.. (cannot b compared with my Howl's.. *chuckles.. yesh, u shall hear me "howling".. wld love to watch this animation again..).. tho i mus admit it has a very brilliant intro to the show, got us fooled that we got into the wrong cinema.. hehee.. n the more memorable part of the show being these words: "The world may be sinister, but there's still much good in it than bad..." or sth to that effect. i think tt's comforting to know. :)

other movies that i watched in the cinema for the past month: Constantine and The Aviator. both are quite good. i love Keanu in Constantine, n somehow cant get rid of the image of him giving the devil the F-finger when he got admitted into heaven.. i din expect to like The Aviator cos i wasnt much of a fan of DiCaprio, n i was thinking of watching it on VCD. *grinz.. but i did enjoy the show, esp as it is based on true story. i feel that there is so much we can learn from the life of other ppl. i like Beautiful Mind too - the story of Nash Brown.

sigh.. i love to watch movies. :)

vanity of all vanity, i decided on painting my fingernails while waiting for my hair to dry. but it's certainly not easy. yest nite i gave up with jus my lil left pinkie painted.. tonite is jus the same sad story, now my lil right pinkie painted.. Lol... i got this sudden impulse to improve the outlook on my nails after this free nail art session at NTU welfare fair some two weeks ago. my nails looked nice painted, but the stupid me din know how long it would take them all to dry before i started on my experiment. so down the drain went all the nice work of the professional lady. aiks.. n i had to get nail remover to get the smeared paint off... bought myself a lil pink bottle that time too.. only began experimentation last nite.. now i know it's not easy to paint nails.. aiks.. :(

since i m away from work for now, thot i'll blog a lil tho i feel very much at the point of not knowing where to pick up. i've left so many parts of my life unblogged when i hv very much wanted to include them here. n over the weekend i wanted to write a looong blog.. but was too tired.. m tired now too.. tt's why i took an unofficial off from work. physically i m sposed to b at this symposium, which is rather unrelated to my current research work. mb onli the free food is relevant.. Lol..

went for GB camp over the weekend. learnt and received a lot from there. the speakers were very motivational n inspirational. i figured it out myself that these two terms are very different. the first one being to spur u on in what u are currently doing, n the latter being the pull to try new things. they are that powerful because they have lived the life that they speak of, dunno how many years of serving in GB.. m i willing to give myself to that? God, is that ur calling for me?

tis coming weekend is another session of drill.. n the thrill of it all is that i will b clad in a uniform when i graduate from this training course.. hee.. call it a girl dream of mine to be in a uniformed group. always wanted to b in redcross back in Brunei, but i rmbr one of the criteria being that u need to b citizen, so i din try for it. so.. heh heh hehhh.. now i will get the chance.. *happy..

then oso started my tuition sessions with this lil damsel again. i simply hope jus to make her want to study. i see the potential in her; she can b smart if she wants to be. mb she's jus off-track at the moment. haiz.. i need to make her study. good thing is i'm not showing her my soft-side anymore. not going to let her hv things her way. but i'm not such a meanie. her mom is quite another case oso. onli when her daughter is going to hv exams then she calls me back. haiz.. well, i'm trying not to b a spoilt market anymore by charging her too cheaply as what my other frens would say of me when i taught her last year. increased the price by jus a lil notch. grinz..

outside, my sound system is playing Ivory III.. testing how it would like given the concert effect.. terribly good, i mus admit.. n oso the lil scratchy noise that is heard in my ripped version in my comp got me into a fright. i thot i scratched the CD.. but phew.. it's still in excellent condition.. ;)

going back to hear.. n rest.. i need a good rest.. no stress.. Goodbye Yesterday is on.. my fave of them all..

my mom jus went out of the room to cook an early dinner for me n herself tonite. we are both going to IMM giant to do some grocery shopping later cos she saw that the toilet paper is cheaper there. grinz.. but what provoke me to blog again is her remark of cooking a very filling meal (even if it's onli instant noodle) so that i will b fed n fat.. *groan.. all the more reason now for me to run more... and this spurs me to blog what i resolved to write some time ago when i was reflecting on what i like to do.

i like to run. this is one thing that i can do without feeling guilty or any sense of negation. i like to read, but at times there's nothing nice to read, or nothing that can catch my attention, n other times, words are jus too heavy for me. running is different. it can take a load off me (not jus the physical fats, but also the emotions n intellectual stress). n tho stimes i may b tired at the end of it. there's satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment. so i'm looking forward to run more, n also to run in the marathon, hoping to make it to the full marathon by the end of this year. :)

i hv 2 success stories to share:

one, my teeth are glaring white! *grinz.. hehe.. that is what my neighbouring postgrad told me one day. she remarked that my teeth are quite white lah, she din use the word 'glaring'.. hehee.. ;p n my visit to the dentist last Fri was a good one too. less plague, thanks to daily flossing n brushing my teeth after eating my breakfast. it was a hard habit to cultivate, esp having to swallow down my bfast early in the morning when i'm barely awake. usu i'm more awake after brushing my teeth n washing my face. but it all pays off.. better looking teeth.. *grinz.. hehe..

but got ulcers at my gum now. my dentist was quite shocked by it. think i brushed too hard. then the lady dentist doctor there took a look n said it might b host-immune defense thinggy.. which sounds scary, but i guess it's jus out of heatiness.. i hadnt drunk much herbal or cooling stuff lately. so now, i cannot brush those two affected areas, n hv to apply some anti-bacterial gel on them to protect any germs from collecting at the site of injury. but i'm still eating chocolate, cookies n crunchy stuff.. hehehee.. cant seem to keep off them.. :P

second success story: my lil housewarming at my new place. well, before u all start to complain how come u all are not invited, it was a small gathering only. n it had another agenda of bidding farewell to another fren, who i will not get to see for the next 6 mths or so.. (phew... opps.. i mean, *sobs.. haha..).. n i dun like big crowd, not my taste of having a meaningful party. n not all my groups of frens like know one another n kinda awkward to bring everyone tgether. then i will get so distracted n tried in getting ppl to make sure they're at ease n enjoying themselves.. hee.. agreeably, i'm still quite off the mark from the standard of Mrs Dalloway. this character ran thru my head as i was thinking of the number of housewarming parties i might need to plan if i intend to get all my frens to see my new place.. *grinz..

but i will wait a while before i plan another housewarming.. wanna rest n settle in first. hvnt really felt settled in this new place yet, hvnt been able to locate everything in the kitchen cos momie did all the unpacking in that area. but i like this place.. still need a lot of stuff here n there.. but oredi this is starting to feel like home. :)

momie is flying home this Fri...

okies, done with fish tank for today. found out that when the fishies died, the pH went up to as high as 8.76, which is not very good for the neon tetras since they prefer an acidic environment. so i had to add ard 10ml 6M HCl, which is quite a lot, but this only lowers down the pH to 6.47, which is good enough. haiz.. n this process repeats every day. double haiz..

ever since we bought the fish aquarium n plants, i hv been put into sole responsibility over them. to feed, wash n clean them.. these roles seem to be incorporated into my job portfolio, n somehow i feel uneasy or somewhat guilty if anything happens to them. not my fault, i understand that cos none of us are expert at keeping fish n plants here, but somehow i feel that my boss seem to want me to take great care that none shd perish... sadly, that's not the case. the little fishies are still adamant about death.. that's nature's course, what m i to do bout it? prolong their lives? sure, give me the money then i will go get the water supplements that they may need. haiz..

talking bout work, my postgrad is not here yet. he's sposed to teach me FPLC this morning since i hav 6 hours to burn while waiting for my bact to express the protein. i cant blame anyone that i'm in this fix. i had to go church yest n so when my bact din grow to the expected population density to express the protein, i couldnt stay back to wait for them to grow n multiply in numbers. i had to go to church. n i had to go home to watch Infernal Affairs 3. i know this is stupid, but it's not often that they show it on TV, n if i do come back to work after church, then what.. i would still hv to lower the temp to slow down the growth process of the bact so that it will not get overpopulated, starved then died.. n i will still hv to wait.. so my postgrad had this brilliant idea.. lower the temp to a greater extent, come back the next morning, n induce the bact for protein expression for 6 hrs. n i asked him, what m i sposed to do during the 6 hrs??? n he said that a lot of things could be done. like??? then he said he could teach me FPLC since he would be coming back this morning...

but here i m typing all this here, while waiting.. n my physically tired mind refuses to absorb any words, n it refuses to shut down either... sheesh..

n thinking about work, should i still continue working here? my contract ends this August. granted that i m learning a lot of techniques that i hv not done before. granted also that all these are impt n useful in my career. granted also that i'm anticipating to hav a paper published which my postgrad said would b inevitable because the protein we're working on are new n no one else hav much data on their structures. n granted also that my boss is nice n he has not scolded me, not yet... but still, all these i can get from elsewhere too. i'm looking at my dream place, biopolis, which i would love to be. where i hv more frens. n there being research institutes, surely their output of published journal is higher. n mb, jus mb, i dun hav to come back on weekends.

now, why getting a paper published is so impt to me.. well, for one, it has been a parcel of my dream to see my name in print in a journal. last time, before i truly came to know God, i once thot that for the world to remember me, this would be the way. so that years later, someone would pick up n read my journal. of cos, there are other ways of leaving a legacy for ppl to remember u. some might even think it unnecessary. what for? anyway, that's one reason.. n secondly, it will help a lot when i apply to study in Japan, not only to get me into their uni, but also hopefully some form of sponsorship or scholarship.

my dialoging with my insurance frens hav shown me facts n figures that it is gonna b financially tough for me to pursue my studies in Japan because I will need to save a lot, n it being such a short term thinggy, would be hard for me to invest or buy any form of insurance that would help me to increase my savings. i might still go into investment, but looking at the risks, at times it scares me. well, it's a hard slap on the face that if i dun spend wisely now, i might as well forget bout this whole thing. however, there's a reassuring faith too, that says God will provide. somehow, not sure how, i dun hv to be too troubled, too worried bout this whole financial issue. somehow, God will provide. this does not mean i can slack n not save. no, this simply means that i dun hv to be too worried. :)

my postgrad is still not here.. what time is he coming? haiz... i might as well do some jap then. or go blog surfing.. grinz.. it's rather interesting to read blogs at times, tho i mus b careful not to laugh too loudly or the nextdoor Thai postgrad might think i've gone nuts.. :P

i'm here again. now i m making it a habit to blog at work, esp when no one else is here. it's Sunday!!! n here i m... *sobz...

muscle aches.. mus b cos i din stretch after i ran last Fri.. two small fish died over the night.. now i'm the the process of changing the fish tank water, n oso lowering the pH to ard 6-7.. the cute doggie has gone home last nite... yesh, i'm in a whiney mood this morning.. haiz...

nvm, shall return to reading about Derrida... who is he? i hv jus about the same qstn myself. :)

today's running was a real flop. wanted to cap the run at 30mins cos that was the timing last time, n wanted to make it up the killer slope without stopping. n since i started the run at SBS, it would end at the top too. so i was running, racing against all odds to make it to the finishing peak in time. alas, my bad sense of direction made a fool of me again, or mb i shd say the thought of being in the wrong direction. i thot i was lost, went on the wrong track, when i was correct all the while.. haizz... so b4 i hit the slope, i was oredi walking, sulking that i got my route all messed up. then sulking even more when i realised that i was right all the while. dang..

anyway, shall attempt that again next week. hee..

this evening watched a very touching chinese show on TV. the one acted by Sammi Cheng entitled 'My left eye saw ghost'. i caught it first time at JB, in canto version. i was so excited back then, cos i love her show, n it was really funny. but what's the winning point for this movie is the twist at the end, n it is mightily touching. i teared the first time round, n watching it today again has the same effect. i'm amazed. either i'm a super sensitive crybaby, or the show is really touching.. i'd rather believe in the latter.. *smile..

*bored... in labbie today with nothing much ado. haiz.. why m i back at work leh? esp when my boss is not ard. but at times, it is precisely cos my boss is not ard, then i shd do work, n not do work onli when he's ard. it's what we do in secret that gets the most in terms of reward or appreciation, n this need not come from the person intended or anyone at all. :)

oh, i din mention that my new home has become a five-star pet hotel. *grinz.. my bro's fren left his doggie (yesh, it's the cute shi tsu ZaiZai) over for a week, n FK left her hammies Basil n Sage (oh, they send u their love n they're very happy, well fed n clean with new shavings placed in yesterday).. plus my sis-in-law's two terapins.. but those are permanent tenants.. hee.. so yea, a pet hotel indeed. so here's the announcement to all who would wanna pop their pets at my house, u guys are very much welcomed to, with a high price tag no less.. 5-star hotel wor.. ;p

going to run later; brought my shorts here liaoz.. gonna feel kinda funny if my postgrad sees me in shorts.. o well.. i need the run, n i dun feel like running at CCK.. n well, there's nth much ado here at work anyway.. might run at 5pm, n call it a day when i get back.. hehe.. yesh, going to conquer NTU.. muahaha.. my first attempt was not very good cos i was flat when running uphill towards SBS (thanks Sin for the introductory run @ NTU, n u need to be more convincing that the slope is really a killer.. *Lol..). yesh, now i shall not undermine the slope.. i need to run all the way up.. up, up n away.. yesh, i'm mad.. mad n all awry with words at the moment.. haiz... siennn!!!

okie okie.. shall stop sighing, complaining n what-not.. happy day everyone!

just watched finish the 'Whisper of the Heart' for the 3rd or 4th time. i cldnt recall buying it last time, which i did at the Bugis Village. one good thing bout shifting is that u may jus dig out hidden treasures. hehh..

once again i applaud the animation for its purity n simplicity. it tugs at my heart so. leaves me with a sigh everytime i watch it. n this time round it was in canto too. i cant explain why, but cantonese is more native to my ears. i can watch a canto drama series by jus listening to it, but i cant do that when it is dubbed in mandarin. true, the animation may hv lost its native tone in jap, but hearing it in canto is sheer joy to me too. so *sigh*... love this animation by Ghibli Studio; they hv other reputable works too: the all too famous 'Totoro', n 'the graves of the fireflies'... oso 'Princess Mononoke'... if not mistaken, 'Spirited Away' is from the same studio cos the characters look quite akin.

this animation reminded me of how much i m still lacking. i envy ppl who hv extensive knowledge in what they like, in their interest. take the guy for example, he likes to play violin, he excels in it, n not onli that he takes to making them n wants to be good in making them. even the old uncle who's keen on antiques has quite remarkable knowledge in them, even in the stones.

okie, shifting to real life, my visit to the Centre of the Arts at HV (thanks to Sin for the tip off n direction on where it is) demonstrated what good use extensive knowledge plus passion is all about. the uncle there, who i presume to be Mr Teo Eng Seng, knows so much, not only about his own artwork, but others as well. it was both entertaining n enriching to have him to show me n Fongky ard the art exhibition. i enjoyed it very much, n i see why it is so impt to hv someone to tell u bout the art pieces, esp someone as ignorant as me. i was a little embarrassed that i din know a lot of things, esp of the more famous artists. hehh.. i guess i need to read more n get more exposure to art..

let's see, my first indulgence in art came from my uncle n aunt. both being very artistic ppl: they draw, make ceramic or pottery, take photos, play organ or keyboard, n now they possess a first class hons in dancing. *grinz.. they're such exciting ppl with a great many interesting hobbies. my aunt was an art teacher, n the last i rmbr she challenged herself to do chinese calligraphy. i'm not sure if she still do them now cos they're both in Australia (where else do u think they could get a cert recognition for dancing?!).

sadly, i dun think this artistic talent runs in the family. i cant play the organ tho my uncle tried to teach me n my brothers when we were young. my guitar is going nowhere, still strumming lousily. n drawing wise.. i wish i can sketch or shade well. i like black n white, keeps things simple. even then in between the two extremes, there are so many shades of gray. things are not as simple as they seem.

sigh.. mb taking an afternoon nap is not such a good idea.. cant sleep well at night in my new place oredi, this is jus making matters even worse..

today is a lazy day.

yesh, it finally rubbed off me that it's time to start blogging again. hvnt done so for a while, was telling myself to go on a blog holiday, jus like the term they use in insurance when u go on premium holiday. well, nth of much festivity for CNY tis year. usu my family does it quietly, n being in Spore, we dun go ard to other ppl's house, not that there are many to go to. usu my frens here are foreigners, so nobody's house to do some visiting. but usu i enjoy the reunion dinner on CNY eve. last time my mom would make a great fuss bout the meal, n it would b complete with steamed fish, a chicken dish.. veg.. etc.. but this year, she was tired from shifting n a lot of unpacking that still needs to b done, so what did we hv for dinner? well, it was MacD cos dining out was a no-no, since the restaurant was fully booked n we din like the idea of queueing up. sighz.. MacD... :(

tonite is not gonna b much diff. Mom did cook, some fried rice, n now my brother n his wife hv gone out to tapao hot n spicy soup from the thai restaurant (tt we wanted to dine in last nite). but i snacked a lot today. then i'm gonna get a bad case of sore-throat unless i balance it up with some cooling herbal drinks. napped in the afternoon too.. haiz.. lazy lazy day.. shall do some blog reading n catching up tonite.. hehh.. when i dun blog, i dun read everyone's blog too.. hehh..

well, hope all of u hv a happy happy chinese new year! do rmbr to collect angpows on my behalf yea.. n Seanie, i rmbr what u said over msn regarding angpows! *grinz.. this is jus a gentle reminder.. hehee.. ;)

oh yea.. this is my first blog from my new home.. hehh.. finally shifted over to this place last Sunday.. :)

it's whining time!!!

hehe.. as said by Morrie himself, it's alright to whine a little, to feel sorry for urself, a lil self-pity.. but onli a lil.. then u hav to get off from it, n get on with life.. hehh.. so here goes..

<.whine>
i'm in my labbie now
i wun b taking off on wed
i wun b taking off on thurs
< /whine>

haiz... before this, my boss told me b4 tt he would very much like it if i can get the protein crystalized for him so that he can bring it over to Japan to do the screening during Chinese New Year.. and after leaving early from work yest, i had to let him know cos he was in his office, n again he emphasized on this point.. so that means extra stress for me in my work.. that means, i wun b able to take a long week off as planned next week.. that means, i wun b able to spend one full day packing, shifting n what not.. cos i wld onli b able to claim my off day after CNY, n by then, i shd hv shifted to my new place.. haiz..

okies... whining over... time to look at how to grow African violets.. heee.. the lady at the plants shop was very nice. she allowed me to take one leaf home yest. i learnt before from my aunt when i was young how to grow these plants from leaves, so i hope i hv not lost touch with my skills.. hee.. my little project in my lab.. :)

oya.. a fren of mine asked me if i'm interested in vertical marathon (http://www.nvm05.cjb.net/).. any of u all interested???

okie, i decided i shall blog tonite, tho i want to sleep soon. hv to wake up early tmr morning.. *groan.. shall leave the whining to tmr.. now, to focus on today.. it was quite another eventful day..

the farmart experience

when my boss said he wanted to get plants n an aquarium in the ancilliary office (which is the office space for the students n staff, right outside his own personal office), he wasnt kidding. yesterday he got me panicked to chk n make sure that this place Farmart, which i recommended since i see it every morning aboard bus 172, sells both plants n fish. i onli rmbr my fren Gracieee telling me bout her going there with her bf for some fishing activity.. so i called that place up, n i gave my fren a call too.. hehe.. jus to be doubly sure that the place is safe to bring my boss over to shop for plants n fish. yea, i can get stressed n panicky over such small issue, esp when my reliability is at stake.. hehe..

well, we (me n 2 undergrads working in my lab) went today during lunch hour. n that was what we had there too - lunch, and it was my boss' treat!!.. hehe.. so good.. well, of cos we din eat expensive stuff; we wun feel good ordering those stuff anyway. then we spent 2hours plus deciding on what fish, what fish tank, gravel, plants.. the complete set!.. n it amted up to $200, which my bro told me later is still relatively cheap, but to me, it was like spending a lot of money! then we went on with the plant selection. the girls happily dismissed the notion that they would not only b late for their tutorial, which was at 230pm, but that they would be missing the entire class. they din mind. haiz.. given the "reason" of missing class, i guess i wun mind either.. *grinz..

Farmart din put upon me such a great impression as the website described it. (yesh, i went thru all the trouble of tracking down the online information to chk whether there were plants n fish on sale there.. *haiz.. ) it's a little run-down, if u ask me. but it had all the things that we need.. so phew.. i was relieved. n we were all glad at the end of the day, except for my boss tho cos i think he minded the amt of money he spent, but i guess that will wear off.. we really hav to take good care of the plants n fish.. the plants are in the office now, but the fish n the whole lot will onli come on Tues.. i cant wait for that day to come.. hehe.. things will be livelier in the office!

the blood test

once back in the office by 330pm.. i rang up NUH to chk on their price tag for a blood test, which i needed for my PR application. n it was $22!! so much cheeper than the price quoted to me at the NTU clinic. so yea... i was so silly to go back to that place to settle my medical chkup when once upon a time, i was 'cheated' off my medical prescription before. haiz.. thanks to my colleague for the wake-up call to chk up the prices elsewhere.

but no thanks to myself for the last min arrangement. haiz.. i finally decided that i would want to make my PR on Mon, so when i called NUH i asked whether i could get the report by Mon if i go down tmr for the blood test, n she said the result might onli b out in the aft, which would be a 'no-no' because then i dun think i can make it in time to Lavendar to process my PR. n oso why Mon is bcos i hav my next dental appointment then, so i wun hav to travel to NUH so many times.. hee.. talk about hitting two birds with one stone, i m more like injuring myself.. haa..

back to the story, so there i was, having to leave early from work today cos if they get my blood sample by today they would be able to give me my result by Mon morning, but they close at 5pm. n the time then was 350pm. i still had things to settle in lab. n if u know NTU, it takes u ages to go anywhere.. by 410pm, i was done, but i oso knew i wld b late. i rushed, caught 179 to interchange, then decided on a cab cos combine the $22 with the cab fare, i would still be on the winning end. plus, i think i can claim 85% of my medical chkup from my medisave. hee.. me being calculative... :P

phew, managed to reach NUH at 440pm. then the big boo-boo came at the enquiry table when i asked where the lab was to take my blood sample. the man then told me that i hv to go SATA, the nearest being in Jurong, but they would hv closed by the time i get there. n i rushed all the way from NTU! i was aghast, broken, felt like sulking the rest of the day.. all the rush, for nothing?... then the leaflet that the man passed to me with the four different SATA addresses on them caught my eye.. wait a minute, it says there that their operational hours is till 430pm, n the lady over the phone jus now said 5pm. sth was not right, sth was amiss.. so i went back to the enquiry counter to ask.

i explained that i called NUH, n the operator directed me to another number, so it mus b within NUH. it cant b outside.. i was putting my bet on that one, cos i wasnt too sure. i was hoping beyond all hope that the operator had not been too nice to connect me to an outside place, which doubt said it might b possible, n that the other lady from the lab could have made the mistake about the working hours. so the man called the operator so that i could get connected to the sposedly lab in NUH.. turns out that it's NUH Referral Lab, n it is in NUH!! Glory, Hallelujah... my effort, my rush was not wasted..

anyway, by that time when i put down the call, the lady who was sposed to be at the enquiry booth came back, n she was much clearer than the guy. apparently if there was no need for x-ray then i could go to that NUH Referral Lab.. so happily i ran down the corridors, to the blood donation centre, got re-directed to the little office next to the blood donation centre.. n got the whole blood thing settled. thank God!..

so i was this jubiliant, happy girl at the end of the day, who got to eat her waffle hotdog at clementi, n met up with dear fren Fongky even if it means a U-turn from Jurong East MRT back to Clementi.. haha.. well, i get to meet one out of three people i intended to meet when i was down in NUS, so of cos i would go n meet la. funny thing was this, as i was at clementi, i was trying to piece these phrases: "losing proximity, losing intimacy" n seeing how true they were when put side by side.. then i bumped into an old JC fren, who i hav lost touch with.. we exchanged numbers, n i guess soon i will try to organise a JC reunion thinggy.. suddenly felt that i din wanna lose touch with so many ppl i hv come to know in my life..

a really long blog.. i think i'm at it again.. u know, the blog addict bug.. sleep... yesh.. i ought to sleep.. fyi, i spent 43 mins typing tis out.. nities frens, mates, sisters, loves.. :)

the quiltmaking talk

my Dean is quite an arty person. if anyone knows what "The Broadway Boogie Woogie", my Dean said the foyer was designed based on that piece of art. (well, i jus did a google chk to get my spelling right, n out of curiosity, went to hv a look at how the art looks like, n blimmey, i dun think the sch foyer has any resemblance to that artpiece, unless i hv mistaken what my Dean took as the foyer...)

well, thanks to my Dean, we had a quiltmaking lecture given by the visiting professor's wife. this is not, at any means, to please the invited guest, but the wife is really qualified n well known in her field. imagine her to hav won many national n international prizes for her quilting! i'm amazed. one of the prize i rmbred amounted to US$12000!!! not a small sum either! n she started quilting on her own, learnt it all by herself. n her quilting is quite a style of her own. i quite enjoyed her easy-going conversive lecture (why cant they give bio lecture like this dear elderly lady?!), n quite inspired by her as well, mb to invest some time to do some artwork of my own. hee..

n thanks to Sin, too, for a wonderful mini art exhibition last nite. me n Steff went over to visit a good fren, who i assumed to be still sick, but thankfully he has recovered (yayy.. jogging next week with me at NTU!!), so i brought a lot of healthy stuff. *chuckles.. but Sin, u got to admit the veggie drink tasted good after all.. hehee.. n yea, ur art.. keep it up!!.. from nothing, it can become something.. jus like the quiltmaking lesson i learn today.. :)

the insurance talk

after the compulsory seminar given by the invited professor this evening, which wasnt all too bad. got me more aware about the therapeutic stage for AIDS currently, why it is still failing to act as a cure.. i guess the most alarming n oblivious fact to me was the number of people who hv died from AIDS.. totalled to 40million ppl... tt's a lot.. well, after this talk, i met up with my fren to talk bout insurance. we had dinner first tgther with her bf (thx vvayz!!! :))

insurance.. i wld say it's not more of a protective measure for me. but what she said, there's some pt too. tt while i m still healthy i shd buy insurance coverage for myself, so tt the insurance policy will not b limited or certain benefits will not be excluded due to my state of health when i buy later in life. i never thot of tt before, cos it is more of investment or savings for me at the moment. but insurance is very subjective, very personalised, so it depends on individuals what they need. haha.. i sound like i can start selling insurance.. hmm.. hee.. :P

anyway, we left it at a point of "to be continue" cos she needed to draft out some plans n see what wld suit me. but for the benefit of confidentiality, i shall not put out a detailed conclusion when it has been decided... hehh... jus wanna share out my thots n views onli ma.. n what i hav been up to today ma.. :)

thought for the night,
before i call it a night.. :)

If it takes courage to be a pessimist, then doesn't it take more courage to be an optimist?

soooo... what does one do to cheer up one's day? look at baby photos!!! hehee.. jus updated my photo album with my uncle's granddaughter Isabella, ie. my cousin Jenny's daughter. she's simply so adorable.. n i sinfully found out about this "Scan and Save to my Yahoo! Photos" button next to the attachments today... so hehehe... well, i updated a few grad photos my frens sent to me too, some from coop days... photos are good. they speak better than i do. :P

went for my qualifying test today to enter intermediate class in JCS. that was what set off the doldrums for today... i din half expect it to be that hard. n i focused on the wrong context too, went too much into kanji and vocab, when i shd hv revised on my grammar. haiz.. n the saddest part being that i could hv answered everything becos i hv learnt them b4. o well.. i can always take another qualifying test n enrol for their intensive intermediate class later this year in May... which may b a better option since i would b around the take the qualifying tests with others, n that would entitle me to choose better time-slots than what they can offer me now..

went for a short shopping spree in Bugis, but somehow the mood wasn't set in for shopping, and the Christmas effect has rubbed off on me even though more things are on sale now, esp U2. I jus managed to buy a pair of pants (which i was wearing today) when i went out with my frens for dinner last week. today, nothing seemed to appeal to me, which is good, cos i shdnt b spending. haa.. even my language sounds languid, n in need of much lifting up. soon, soon, bear with me a little while longer..

it's funny how things seem to look so differently when u're in a different mood. how the food doesn't appeal as much, how my stomach doesn't seem to be hungry (even though before the test, I was thinking of snacking in this Jap restaurant which is having 50% discount on ala-carte dishes..), how the mrt seems much more crowded... it's funny too, that this is not altogether that funny, and yet I use the phrase "It's funny..." to describe those things... and ya da ya da ya da...

Okie.. i promise to cheer up. today started off fairly well actually. even my postgrad student treated me filet-o-fish meal for lunch. i thot he would jus buy the burger, but he went ahead and bought a meal set for me. how touching. n all the while, he was asking me to treat him.. aiks.. next time, there will come a time when i will indeed treat him and his wife (he's married, mind u, readers, in case any funny thoughts come into your mind bout him treating me..)..

and the house... well, it's almost done with painting. :)
haiz.. honestly speaking, i need to take up ownership of the house. somehow, it never gets into my head that it would be my own house, my home. cos the house is under my brothers' names, n oso i always hav this thing about going to Japan n staying there for dunno how many odd years... so when it comes to deciding on things for the house, well, i jus dun think i shd b the one making the decisions. so mostly i leave it to my mom. i guess this is not right.. but i m so indecisive at times over such matters. n i find it so much easier to jus adapt, or make slight changes.. o well...

a lot more things to be done.. choosing the furniture.. packing.. then unpacking.. ... ...

my dental experience.

yeps. i went down to the dentist today, to have my teeth inspected and see whether they were fit for wearing braces. heee.. it was those things that i did out of vanity, n i had always wanted to put braces on since back in my teenage years. heh hehh.. well, my undergrad students hav braces in their mouth, n one of them had a dental postgrad do it for her at a flat rate of $2000! so that was really cheeeep!!.. hehehee.. yea, szeyung the cheepskate.. :P

anyway, i asked my dental undergrad fren if she needs any patients to put braces on, so she recommended her fren for me. in a way, i was helping her, n she was also helping me to cut cost. today's x-ray onli cost me $12.. hehee.. so cheeeep!!! akakaa... but there were a lot of things i hav to comply with. she needs to do a facial profiling of me.. sounds chim eh? well, it's jus looking at my face contours.. in crude terms, she simply stared at me, n she was politely telling me to bear with it.. hehee.. it was kinda fun.. but i guess it was more of work for her.. poor gal.. she has a quota (ie. number of patients) to meet, n once she meets that quota, well, that jus means she gets to sit for her final exams.. hehh.. some kinda reward, that is!

oh, n she oso did a teeth cast for me. she used some seaweed extract n mint powder, mixed it in water to form some plaster-like material, put on a metal casing then chuck that into my mouth. hee... i thot it would take a long time to dry up, but it onli took less than a minute!.. so cool!!!... *grinz..

next time she might do scaling n some cleaning up for me. i think that would be necessary cos i hav not been to the dentist for the past 2 years.. *blush*.. not a very good habit. hehh.. but that would onli cost me $4!! cool.. so cheeep!.. hehee.. ^^

2004 came. 2004 went. and I would be shifting house this month. i went to have a look at the place already, n it looked so different from that time when it was well furnished. now it looks stark naked, and not very much like home. needs cleaning, painting, and a whole lot of work. thank God that NTU is giving us 2 days unofficial leave to make up for the two public holidays that fall on Saturdays. so i will b making full use of them to help out with the shifting.

i had a family celebration for the new year countdown albeit the loss of much festivity. we did pop the champagne, n photos were taken. yet there wasnt anything much after that. yesterday night i went for my church network chalet. i din know that most (the girls) would go home by Sat night, so i missed catching up with them. haiz...

feel like putting this Charles Dickens quote cos it really speaks of how i feel right now:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.

and what i make of that? well, i can simply say, i look forward to year 2005...

Christmas came. Christmas went. And my momie is now here to stay, well, mb for a few months before she goes Brunei again. i cant label that as 'home' anymore, now that our house was sold, n according to her, the present owner has renovated the whole place. so it'll look rather different when i get to go back next year. sad thing is that i never get to say goodbye to it. mb it's better that way. i can get rather sentimental with places n things at times, n certain times such emotions were unnecessary n not very long-lasting cos i tend to forget them soon. human nature, or perhaps it's jus my nature.

anyway, i was refering to Christmas at the start of this blog. well, my church threw a bash party at Fort Canning on Christmas day, n it was lotsa fun. i enjoyed the company a lot, especially Irene's invited guests. they are really sweet n friendly. i kinda feel sad having to leave early n without much proper goodbyes. but well, i had to rush over to catch the Kung Fu Hustle with my brothers n sis-in-law at 1130pm. oh, that was a hilarious movie, i tell u. i laughed until i cried. Stephen Chow knows how to kick in at the right time with the right blows. he directed n wrote the scripts. this man deserves kudos.. hehe.. okies, mb some ppl dun really appreciate his movies, but i'm all out for the laughs. Meet the Fockers wld b next on my list! n i'd love to watch Phantom of the Opera, but no one to watch with me. mb i will save money n wait for my bro to come out with the DVD version for me to watch. i wun settle for VCD version with bad sound quality.

oh, i forgot to mention the day before Christmas. i spent one whole day at Bugis Junction! amazing, isnt it? i was sposed to meet sister BL there for hairstyling, but she din come till much later. *ahem.. hahaa.. anyway, i din mind as this gave me sufficient time to do my christmas shopping for my family. i bought pressies for my bros n sis-in-law. not cheap stuff as i m working now, n i figure i shd buy them better things, that they can use.

then later tgether with BL, we went to Reds to get our hair styled, n by that, i meant curled. hehee.. it's jus a temp thing, jus to see how we wld look like with curls. well, it was good. i love the curls, so did BL. but it was sad too, cos even before we went home, our hair had straightened considerably. BL's din even seem to hav any more curls at all! thank God we took neoprints when we still had our curls. lovely neoprints they were too. will scan n put them in yahoo photos when i hav time. (which is like many years later.. :P)

we had dinner at this Jap restaurant. the food there is really cheap. i mean, reasonable la, esp when the serving portion is big n filling. one thing i like bout Jap food is the effort they put into food presentation. when something looks good, they usu taste good as well (unless i'm the one who prepares them.. :P). so we enjoyed our meal a lot. i love trying out new places, not to mention Jap food!! me n BL lingered longer in Bugis n finally ended up outside St Andrew's Cathedral to do the countdown, n sang "O come o ye faithful". it was so meaningful then, cos the clock had past 12 n it was christmas day - a day to remember Jesus when He was born in Bethelhem.

then i prepared brunch for my bros n sis-in-law on christmas day too. my 2nd bro bought campagne n yeps, we had a pop-the-campagne session to inaugurate our little home celebration. (remind me to upload pictures when i get them developed!) the log cake tasted really good. it was a simple meal together, but i treasure this kind of occasion a lot. :)

that's christmas for me, and new year is around the corner. here's giving everyone a warm n loving spark to start the year 2005.. *hUGgies* n niTes!!!

ho ho ho.. merry christmas in advance, jus in case i never get to blog again until the great day has gone past... as u can see, my sposedly updates 'later tonite' was, erm, many nights after.. *chuckles.. sorry, maties.. i got busy.. :P

well... yea... Mission Trip brought a different sense of satisfaction. (for those who dun know, i went for a Mission Trip with the main objective of feeding the Orang Asli in the state of Pahang.)i was given a taste of a different lifestyle, n come think of it, i think i have received more from them than they from me. sure, i may have blessed them with food, but they have given me food for thought. n how much would u price such good food? well, besides that, the scenery and air is magnificient up there.. not forgetting the walk. well, the villages are a few clicks from the main road, and it being the rainy season now, well, the tracks are not exactly fit for cars, not even most 4-wheelers. anyway, we had to make some journey on foot, at night some more, n skidded on the path many times.. felt like surfing on the mud at times.. n coupla ppl fell a few times *chuckles.. i almost did, but thank God for supportive frens thru'out the trekking.. ^^

one word to sum it all up: simplicity. this is what i felt. they hav a simple life, simple faith. i guess life is not as complex, or rather need not be thus. life can be, n perhaps actually is, simple. i dare not make the statement that life is simple for fear that there will be third world war in the minds of those who refuse to accept such statement. perhaps, this is true for myself. i always remember this one question i posed to my cell leader. i asked her, "why is life so difficult?" n she said 'why do people make life so difficult?'.. she has a point there. no arguments. yet to actually believe n live that out. well, that would b what i would now term as The Orang Asli Way of Life. *chuckles..

sinkin' my teeth now into the delicious chicken wing rice. o yea.. never mentioned to many ppl before, but the kopitiam in the small sunshine shopping place near my hdb block has very good chicken wing rice! *two thumbs up*.. after the good food in Ipoh, i jus cant imagine myself eating any lesser food here, losing appetite for the common food.. *omigosh.. hahahaa.. :P

yea.. Ipoh was a great place for R&R.. u do nothing there, but eat n rest.. n watch astro.. a laid back life, yeps..well, for first timers like me, i really crave for outdoors, to see what there is in Ipoh.. so when i saw my frens settled n satisfied with watching astro... well, it sorta got onto me for a while.. guess i wasnt that used to the relaxed pace of life there.. after a when i got a hang of it, i was driven back to Spore.. *sobz*... i miss Ipoh......

now to finish my food.. more updates later tonite.. ;)

watched two movie since the last time i blogged. first one being Incredibles. really a 5 out of 5 movie, way out of this world.. hahaha.. i would recommend all my frens to watch, esp with ur family cos i think this is really a good family movie, or with a bunch of frens.. a good laugh out n stress releaser.. hehehe.. for the sake of those who still hvnt watched yet, i shall not say more except this: "Go watch lah!"... *chuckles*

then the other one, jus yest night, was the Thai scary movie Shutter. the blur me din know it was Thai until the story reached the middle end when the main characters went from Bangkok to the small town, then i realised, yea, this is a Thai movie... *piangz... hahahaha.. yea, i was that blur lor.. cos i was expecting to watch a Korean scary movie.. hahaa..

well, it is a totally different genre from the first movie.. stimes i dun know why i still wanna go watch scary movie cos i get scared most of the time when i get out of the cinema. my fren was fine cos she said she forgets n does not take the movie home with her. well, i do. perhaps it is also cos i believed in evil spirits n thus am more afraid of such things... haizz... mus really think twice before i watch another horror show... :(

blotched red nose. i shall b called rudolph the red nose reindeer, or rather sneezy the dwarf. went down with a cold, nothing altogether that serious. yet i went to see doctor for the sake of my fellow labmates, n i din wanna stay sick. working is different from studying in that u need to be healthy, or else suffer for being sick. i cant help but feel guilty if anyone of them get sick in the lab. n oso i dun feel good taking mc...

anywayz, the doc wasnt much help. guess next time i shall not resort to the clinic in NTU. for one, it is very expensive, n i can onli claim $10 under medisave, unlike the 85% that my colleague told me that i can claim from outside government subsidised polyclinics or hospitals. felt like i kena cheated. o well, there is always a first time. never a second time, trust me. n it was jus a cold, surely the doc was overprescribing the medicine. shd hav asked him to cut off the lozenges n cough mixture. perhaps i dun need the antibiotics too since he added it as an afterthought. cut-throat doc! wanna earn my money, that's what... *grr.. hahaa.. sorry, i can b a real miser at times. esp when i feel that i am at the losing end of the bargain.

well, i'm getting well by n by. only my experiments are wrecking me up. stress on the built up. hehh.. who says there is no stress in work? who says that working is better than studying? well... jus two sides of the coins. none the better actualli.. haiz.. this is life.

oyea.. cell group today reminded me to give thanks to God nomatterwhat. well, let's see what can i give thanks to God then... for people in the lab, i guess. in the least i m getting to know them better, getting to talk to them more. (now i minimise my talking due to my sickness... the doc says that it is not infectious.. errr... i dun think i shd risk it...). n oso for a fren who i knew back in NUS n who's working in the lab nextdoor. it's good to hav someone u know ard..

Z-z time.. O God.. i pray for results tmr...

let me see.. where should i pick up from.. been leaving my life behind, way way behind.. well, brief updates then:

22 Oct [Fri]- first day at work. din do much stuff, only managed to settle admin stuff. then had to tell boss that i would not be working on Sat cos i had some pre-appointment. he was generous enough to let me off without questioning me further.

23 Oct [Sat]- a day out at Sentosa. went with the GB girls. it was a rather fun time esp when i joined in their games. it has been a long time since i played team games. n i felt that i had become younger again..

the week from 24 to 31 Oct - frustrating week. not only was i tired from not getting any results, i was down with giving tuition. i almost fell asleep during a session n my lil girl had the nerve to ask me n tell me to go wash my face.. sigh... thank God towards the end of the week, something seemed to be working for my experiments.. i was starting to wonder whether i am cut out for the job or not..

from 1st to 7th Nov - a much more relaxing week. started to fit better in work. oso bcos results are showing tho' can b real elusive n scary at times. thank God for the dinners, ie. cell group gathering at ShuFang's place (it was a looong walk to her house, but the dinner together n chatting with the other girls were worth it).. dinner at the Jap restaurant at Clementi with Fongky n J.. really a cheap place to try out, n the food quality not that bad.. jus dun try the taufu with century egg gravy on top.. some ppl dun like that.. *chuckles*..

oh thank God for my buddy who invited me to go California Fitness with her on 7th Nov (Sunday). i enjoyed it thoroughly, steam-bath being the best!!! hehe... plus a sweet-tooth treat at TCC.. yeps, finally got a chance to go there. tried their oreo cheesecake, but thot it was jus normal. their ice mocha latte too.. but it was very powerful, not immediate tho'. i felt sleepy during the aft, but rather awake at night. hehh.. [hmm.. kinda wasted the morning workout, eh? :P]

more recently, last Wed(10th Nov), had lunch with the Dean of Sch of Biological Sciences n other new staff. imagine, all my years in NUS, i never had such a chance, n now here as a plain staff, i get see the Dean in person. wow.. but it was nothing. jus small talks for the Dean to get to know us. haiz.. not a very digestable lunch, if u ask me.

then that night, had a chalet outing with sister Irene n other sisters. we all stayed up the night to talk, about our salvation, about our current problems with God or with people.. basically a lot of things about ourselves. felt that it was a good bonding time when we became more transparent with one another. we needed a time like this, to build our relationship. then Thurs was a free n easy day with no programmes whatsoever. stimes this is good then one can do what one likes. but at other times, one realli craves for more action, sth like cycling at Pulau Ubin, kayaking to be more adventurous. hehee..

but nah, Thurs found me and buddy in Jean Yip. she did her hair, while i sat ard to read magazines that tell u why ur blackheads don't go away.. why a woman can tahan her husband eventhough he abused n left her, only to come back to her again.. don't get me wrong.. this is not a trashy story cos it exudes a true personality of patient love. she's a Christian n to me, tis is a great testimony of real life. true, granted that she would not b wrong in any case to divorce him, or to ask him to leave the house. yet because her sons asked that they could hav daddy back.. haizz... true life drama...

sth that pastor shared the other day that spoke volumes: a crisis doesn't make u who u are, but it shows u what u are made of.

okies.. then yesterday was Hari Raya. went to a coop fren's house for celebration. it was a nice time meeting up with the coop ppl again. n brother KC found a job!!! *two thumbs up*.. so happy for him. then got to spend some time after the visitation to chat with him. really good to catch up, now that i dun see him so often except during church, n that time is really hard to talk much.. n it's true, what he said, that next time when we meet up, we will be mostly talking about our work.. haiz.. the different phase of life..

went Suntec to meet up with my darling godsis. she's a dear as always. giving me pressies - Hillsongs' latest album!! woooo... i'm so happy cos i was thinking of buying that for myself. hee.. now no need to buy. i finally bought Le Couple. it was on my list for a while now ever since Sin wrote about it on his blog. was still thinking of the other album of Emi Fujita, but i wanna hear more Jap songs. so i went ahead with this album. it was a good buy, soothing to the soul, tho' it is begging to understand more Jap.. aiks.. need to learn Jap.

i borrowed two books from NTU lib on learning Jap so in my free or usu waiting time, i look at the books, but i feel so conscious about reading something else in the lab office, that i dun openly do it. feel guilty, that i shd b reading some journal or sth else. hehh...

ooookies.. i hope this is updates enough for u guys.. heee.. will try to blog more often, jus that when i'm in the office, i dun feel secure oso blogging cos u never know who's reading behind ur back, n if they do nosily check on ur history n see where u've been too.. haiz.. esp when some ppl hav too much time on their hands.. dun get me wrong, i do no such things! hahaha..

had some time after my tuition to go to the library at jurong point. decided that i would wanna pick up some other languages. i tried myanmar, then i tried german. both seem rather hard to really learn. finally decided that japanese is still the best for me.

sister, thank you for reading my blog. yes, this is a special message for u. n if u know what i mean by what i type in the above paragraph, then know also that your child is in safe Hands. :)

watched 2046. what an intense movie! n for the first time, i felt its novelty. perhaps i hav not watched many movies like these kinds before. or is it my first exposure to Tony Leung's love movies? Are all of them as intense, as reflective? *shrug*.. i'm lost on that train 2046, lost in that train of thought... 10 hours, 100 hours, 1000 hours, still lost there...

hehh.. gonna blog a bit now. yesterday i ran 10km!! muahaha.. no, it isnt the sposedly Tuas 2nd link that i ran. they were a lil stern on the BIB number so that onli registered runners cld take part. well, since they hav their reasons being that u actualli ran across the tuas chkpt n such, so i din venture to try my luck running there without a BIB number. dun wanna end up with some complications with immigration that can delay the start of my job further..

anyway, i planned out a cool running route for myself using www.can.com.sg. chk out this website if u wanna find out the dist u walk/jog. it's cool... hahaa.. well, i ran all the way to Jenny's place n discovered a very nice canal where i can jog in future [Buddy!!! WE can jog there next time.. hehehe...].. then down Woodsland Rd, which was quite queit.. u know, the eerie sort of quietness... but i love the railway tracks that passed thru there.. seem to throw me back in time, back into the cowboy olden days.. yee-hahh... *chuckles*

and i ran 10km in 1hour. hehee.. an achievement i m proud of. nyanyaa... but i need a better record to make 21km in 2.5hours. ya, my fren said that i'm a lil crazed in running. but there's all the excitement, the sense of adventure.. the pang of achievement.. a dreamy sighz..

well, for now, to do house chores. mommy coming back tmr.. yeah, it wld b good having her back.. home-cooked dinners.. but now, yea, the chores await me..

phew.. thot i had some pblem with the blogger page. thot that perhaps i hav not come here for so long that they thot me obsolete n deleted me off their user list.. hehh.. that was what happened the last time i tried to come to this post page.. phew, thank God i still can blog... nyanyaa..

this is life. waking up late in the morning. having a lazy n slow bfast.. enjoying the morning rays in the living room. no channelnewsasia to catch cos too late to watch prime time morning, n not gonna heck about the rest of the world. not this morning anyway. wanna jus be on my own. n it feels great. my own space, my own time... it's great taking a break from everything. hehh..

well, i had enough adventure yest. surprisingly my legs are aching today. guess i shdnt hav gone jogging in the morning, knowing what a rush it would be later in the afternoon. hee.. n good thing only Haha went down with me to JB to catch the New Police Story in cantonese.. yesh, i cant let it pass by me without catching it in canto.. in plain yucky subbed mandarin jus wun do.. hahaa.. had to go all the way to pelangi leisure mall too, when the nearest n best place would hav been in city square but they aren't showing it there yet. din wanna wait another week so this is what happens lo.. a small scale adventure.. hehee..

so we found out such a thing as pelangi plaza n pelangi leisure mall are two very different places. n my dear JB batchmate Zhen was correct when she said that tis cinema is very far from the causeway.. hehh.. next thing we found out was that there is such a thing as free shuttle bus in JB! wooo.. jus hav to follow the timing, but guess it was worth the wait.. free wor.. n if u take public bus, u might hav to wait as well.. so what the heck.. nyanyaa..

n the show? two thumbs up from me.. hehh.. i enjoyed myself thru'out. perhaps it was this conscious that kept telling me that i ought to enjoy it after putting in so much effort to catch it. haha... but it was great!.. really.. nicholas tsu was a lil on the sissy side, daniel wu was Haha's fave.. okie.. i guess we din waste our money.. not much of a waste anyway.. jus RM$8!!.. cheaper than watching it on weekdays in Spore.. nyanyaa.. i love spending money in Msia.. :P

as for other highlights from my life: i finished my 21-click in 3 hours 03mins.. a disappointment cos my partner n my time goal was set at 2hrs 30mins but i guess both of us din train hard enough. or, as he put it himself, he needed to start training! akaka... well, there's always the other one at the end of this year.. :) so Sin, i really salute to u, that u can make it under 2hrs.. totally out of this world!..

i did sth so sinful today. not onli did i nap for an hour plus in the noon time, i was also very gullible n vain. see what lack of caffeine can do to one person!

well, i went grocery shopping n decided that i needed to buy toner n moisturiser for my face too. first stop was NTUC, and there a follow-me sales promoter managed to make me buy a day crean plus a renewal gel to remove blackheads (yeps, it's written all over my nose that i hav lotsa blackheads.. ew.. :P).. so there goes $21.. then i still hav my toner to buy. i din wanna buy follow-me toner, so i decided to skip over to Watson.. there, another sales promoter awaits me.. well, there's logic in what she says that if i invest $39 in her toner, it would last for 6mths. my normal toner onli lasts 2mths, so it was ard that cost by the time it comes to 6mths. so haiz... yeps, kena 'bullied' again to buy that toner.. made in israel.. part of the instruction is in hebrew, i guess.. :S

i'm jus so prone.. *wince*

momie went back home today.. flew off in the morning. me n my bro sent her off to senai airport, JB to catch the airasia flight. cheaper for her to come n go back, but more troublesome in going to the airport. then i found out that there is a free shuttle bus from kota raya, JB to the airport.. huhuu.. shall exploit that in future next time.. hehee..

then watched kissing jessica stein to fill up my morning time. it's a les movie, bout how a straight girl becomes a les.. n i finally understand why guys can take it when girls are les.. was talking bout this last night with a guy fren, n he told me that he doesnt mind if his gf is a les... ew.. or rather, it was 'ew' yest.. but now it's 'ooh'.. so that's the reasoning behind it.. the ending is rather open to speculation though.. did jessica return back to a straight life, one which i presume would be quite nice with a mr george meyers?.. hehe.. i know i would if ever such a guy comes along..

read this book titled 'marathon: you can do it!' (probably sponsored by nike to put that in the title.. :P). really a good guide to what u need to do while training for the big run. though i'm doing a 21-click in another 2-3 wks time, this book still comes in quite handy. thanks to the coop delivery man.. hehe.. he's oso running..

so i went for a jog in the afternoon. tried out to put in walk breaks in between my run, but it was a disastrous attempt. cos i think i pushed myself too hard. was sposed to pace myself slower, but cos i got the chance to rest while i walked, i ran faster after that.. got stitch then tummy wasnt feeling right, so i had to stopped after i passed the turning point.. dang.. next time i shall run slower.. still hav to put the walk breaks in practice n see how effective it is..

jus some thots over the weekend:

if u think someone looks down on u,
u're doing more harm by looking down at urself.

i believe in the story of one man,
so i will not debunk others at believing the story of another man.

i got a new handphone!! true to what people tell me: 'if the old one doesnt go, the new one will not come'... well, to the oblivion of some, i lost my hp on tues, left it in the toilet. that was a tormentous day for me, to lose my hp.. n i'm near broke.. so how to buy new hp?!

then how do i get a new hp? hehehe.. actually i still feel strange n uneasy bout this whole thing. nothing wrong with the hp.. i hav already fell in love with it.. it being a motorola, n it being a flip-flop phone which i hav always wanted. well.. sth is definitely wrong with the giver though.. for one, i dun really know this guy; he's a regular customer from the bookshop n i barely knew him lo.. jus talked to him stimes. n he jus gave me the hp like that lehh..!!

well, i did ask him on that day that i lost my hp if he was in the business of buying n selling hps as well.. amazingly he told me that he could get one for me. i told him i wanted a motorola flip flop, but i couldnt pay much. say ard $150-200 onli. then the next day (wednesday) i decided not to buy 2nd hand hp cos i'd rather save money n help my bro buy his hp first then i can use his old one. but then on thursday, that guy jus dumped the hp at me. i was like "..." *speechless*. at first i thot he wanted to sell to me, then i would hav to decline cos i decided not to buy liaoz.. but no, he said give me wor.. all the more i was "..."

then my other part time colleague (the old gentleman) said that this is the benefit of being a girl.. all the more i felt uneasy.. hm.. come to think of it, i hav always been telling ppl that i dun mind having a rich husband.. perhaps i was looking at the wrong age group for that.. should aim for older ppl.. hahaha.. ppl near or in their forties.. :P

p/s: Happy Birthday, Mom.
May u like ur new son-in-law.. akakaa..

finally bought my Reebok running shoes. yesh.. it has to be Reebok. haha.. not that i am such a Reebok girl, not yet but soon to be. well, i hav this $40 voucher from Big Walk to spend n it expires at the end of this month. n golly, this month does fly by fast! so i had to buy my shoes this Sunday, cos i dunno when else i would be going out. anyway, the condition to get the $40 voucher is onli if u spend $100+ on Reebok products in Royal Sporting House, so that explains why Reebok.. but i like Reebok too, so no qualms bout spending almost a $100 on Reebok stuff.. heee.. (yesh, i'm terribly broke now. waiting for my pay day next week from my part time work)

ooh.. something interesting that my fren told me bout new shoes. she's oso a regular marathon runner n she shared how new shoes need to be broken before u can really run in them with ease, esp for marathon when u're gonna be in those shoes for long dist. well, that is sth new for my ears.. "to be broken".. reminded me of how horses need to be broken before they can be ridden by human.. haha.. so that was what i did after i bought my shoes. i went for a run tonite, n gosh, i feel like i can fly in those shoes.. haha.. they're so wild.. perhaps it's the sudden freedom from the shoe box.. haha.. will jog more often now to tame the shoes for the real thing.. which is like a few more weeks from now.. *gulps*

o yea.. got my first sports bra. hahaa.. shdnt b putting this up online, but heck.. it's my first time getting one, so there's a big hu-hah bout it for me.. huhuhu.. then got another Reebok top.. red coloured one.. wuhuhuu.. can wear for church combined service next time cos the youth network is always wearing red n i always fail to find a nice red top.. okie okie, i dun like spending money to buy a red top, esp i know i might not wear it out that often.. but this Reebok top is accounted for in the $40 voucher, n the CCK branch doesnt seem to hav much Reebok stuff, so well.. a red Reebok top it is then.. hehe..

all in all, i hav crossed another item off my shopping list.. ;)

And i got a job!... hehehee... it's like a dream come true, but i knew this dream would not come true if not for God. no kidding... i felt ever so insecure about getting this NTU job after I went for the interview. cos the prof was telling me that he was certain to hire me due to my good academic background. n he hadnt seen my academic transcript then, so it was a testing time when i had to send in my full formal application form to NTU, together with copies of my transcript. every waiting day from then on was a torture.

and something happened on Sunday night. my roomie happily told another of my classmate who was also looking for job about this prof. cos she happened to see my prof's name card on my comp table, and my classmate was online asking her who this prof was that i went for interview, so she told her. at first, i was angry, and felt ever so threatened. n my roomie knew that. she was apologetic, but at that time, saying sorry was jus not what i needed to hear. so i went to the living room to be alone to read the Bible, cos i knew i really need God then. alas, my bro n my mom had to come out, so my last refuge was the toilet!.. haha.. yes, i spend a short while in there to read, to pray.. i was ever so ashamed for my anger, n then for my insecurity. but i really wanted the job. all i can say in my prayers was that 'God, if it's your will to give me that job, then it will be mine', but i prayed hard that i would get a job by this week.

n the reply came only on tuesday night. i gave up checking my email that day n waiting until really late at night before i went online. n viola, an email from my prof. my heart was so feeble, so scared. but phew, i got it!!! hahahaa... so thankful to God. He came true for me, not only this once, but many times before. but it's good to be reminded of His goodness, and yesh, Fongky, good things come to those who wait. ;)

watched Stepford's wives.. n now i'm considering to have my hair cut n build my new image around Nicole Kidman's role... really like her style in that show, esp when she went to the day spa.. i mean, really a wow.. hahaa... to be dressed like a manhattan b*tch. :P

sorry, a little carried away with my language there, but that was what was used in the show. *chuckles* a really good, watchable movie.. had quite a number of laughs over in it too.. sometimes i feel that trailers can be real spoilers, and it's better not to know too much about a movie before watching it. i went along with my frens, simply jus to spend time with them. n it turned out to be a show worthy of my money, every single cent of it. :D

now i'm anxiously waiting for my job application results. three interviews for this week n last week put together, n this is a lot considering the lull period before this!.. so i hav a lot more exposure to interviews now, m better prepared. :)

job job job.. mus get a job soon.. i'm getting sick n tired of part time works. job job job...

heh.. shd be churning out cover letters for my job application.. but the mind does wonder.. n lookie here.. this is where my fingers brought me to.. haha.. anyway, i realise that this is what blogging is to me, an escape from reality.. akakaa...

bottomline for this week: i've gained weight. *shrieks*

well, i wun b so bothered if i din go shopping today for a new pair of jeans. desperately needed one bcos my old one got torn. n no, it wasnt bcos i put on so much weight that it bursted at the seams.. though that happened for my nice black pants this week too.. but well, la la la la... i was talking bout my jeans.. n it was a good worthy 6-year old jeans. bought it in Miri, Sarawak before i came to Spore, so it served its time. g'bye my faithful jeans.. but i guess i shall soon transform it into shorts since it got torn at the knee part.. dun ask how i tore it.. it jus got torn, k..

as for the pants.. well, my jeans was a goner, so i wore my black pants for my bookshop work, n i guess it was too much of a squatting, getting up, stretching here n there.. n it finally bursted.. it was embarrassing, but thank God, in a way, cos it was at the end of the day n Coop was closing.. but i still had cell group that nite.. haiz.. was contemplating not to go, but well, being the good Christian girl that i always am.. *lightning* .. akaka.. anyway, thankfully my long Tshirt could conceal though it was not comfy knowing the idea that ur pants bursted..

sigh.. i din really get much of a dinner tonite too. lost appetite.. haha.. nah, dun worry.. it's not bcos of what happened. it was bcos of what has happened.. try to understand the grammar. LOL..

p/s: Happy Birthday Dad. :)